Live A Vibrant Life Podcast with Life Coach Kelly Tibbitts

Gratitude & Golden Light, A Conversation with Shabana Knight

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In this episode, Coach Kelly has a  conversation with podcast host Shabana Knight where they talk about self care, guiding values and Human Design.

Understanding and taking care of yourself is NOT selfish. Gratitude is Shabana's secret to being able to bring her most vibrant self, filled with golden light, into the world.


Key Takeaways: :

  • Give permission to be yourself:  Honor the way you do life best. Protect your energy and say no when needed.
  • Notice with gratitude: Our lives are meant to overflow with love and light, making it easier to give to others without running on empty.  You can’t do that if you don’t take care of yourself.
  • Allow your values to guide you: Create time for genuine rest, and other powerful practices (e.g., exercise, journaling, etc.)


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I am cheering for you!

Speaker 2:

it's nice to know just with our personality types it's okay to have all this juggling and it's okay to be sloppy and still produce things Like just to allow your creativity to flow,

Speaker 3:

Welcome to the Live A Vibrant Life podcast. I'm life coach Kelly Kibbitz, and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self-awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose. I believe self-awareness changes everything. Let's get started.

Speaker:

Welcome to the Live a Vibrant Life podcast. I hope today's, conversation helps you live a brave, creative, purpose-filled life. Today I'm here with Shavana Knight, I'm excited to help you get to know her. Watching you on Facebook Shabana, having just our few moments together. I love the energy you bring into the world,. I think your heart of gratitude and abundance is what we all need a little bit more of. Why don't you take a moment to tell people about yourself. Can't wait to hear everything I.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, it's such an honor to be here. So first, like, thank you for having me. This is all like, so new to me and it's so fun. I just started in April with being guest on people's podcasts and I just started my own podcast. I have a very interesting origin story, so I'll start with that so your listeners can really get to know me more. At the age of two I was with my older brother who was four at the time. We were separated from our parents at a train station in India and a police officer found us. He gathers that there's no parents with us and we end up being put in an orphanage. We're there for like a year and a half. Eventually we get adopted and we grew up on the East coast. So that's our start. I'm so, yeah, that's a really hard start. I'm sorry. So where in the east coast did you end up? We grew up in Baltimore, Maryland. I ended up, doing a little bit of like college classes and decided that college was just too much and I was like, Nope, I'm done. I'm doing something else. And I heard about this, youth program in Texas. A year into that program, I met this person and I'm like sitting across from him and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is the person I'm supposed to marry. And that's like so far away from home. How am I ever gonna make that transition? But you just do. You just allow and you accept. And then we had like this long distance courtship. I was in Minnesota at that time, he was still in Texas. So we would like old fashioned write like letters to each other After our programs had finished up we move out to Washington. I live with his parents for three months and like everything just falls into place. Just a lot of faith building exercises to say. That sounds

Speaker:

like a lot of faith. Yeah. When I heard you on a different podcast, I know you mentioned about having a heart for kindergarten. I taught kindergarten when I was younger and then I became a pastor. I love it. And then I pivoted out into life coaching. And about a year ago, I discovered I'm a manifesting generator and I'm supposed to keep pivoting all the time. And I believe you're

Speaker 2:

as well. Yes, I am a manifesting generator

Speaker:

when everyone says, just do one thing and don't do too many things, and we are supposed to have all the balls in the air and pivot and that's correct.

Speaker 2:

Nothing has going wrong. Yeah, exactly. It's, it's nice to know just with our personality types it's okay to have all this juggling and it's okay to be sloppy and not do it well and have C minus work and still produce things and Right. Like just to allow your creativity to flow, to have permission giving your, yeah,

Speaker:

it is why I've loved learning about different types of, mm-hmm. Personality. You know, I'm certified in the Enneagram. I love Pat Lencioni working genius. And what it has done for me is first given me a lot of grace and love for myself, but then also grace and love for other people because. I don't expect other people to think like me or feel like me or do life like me. Like we're all just having our own human experience. So you've done human design. Any other personality tests that kind of connected with you?

Speaker 2:

Human design is the one that I would say like my newest kind of thing. I, I forget what it is, but the ENTJ. Oh yeah.

Speaker:

That was helpful. Right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that one was super helpful. It like validates who you are and how you function and work and I love those kind of like self-development and things like that. Human design is so, fascinating.

Speaker:

Well, Myers Briggs, which is the ENJ. Oh, that's what it was. Riggs. That was very helpful. That was my first, um, marriage conference with my husband and we're exact opposite letters. Mm-hmm. I'm extroverted, he's introverted. And then learning my children, even though they all present, I have three children just like you. They all present as extroverts. They're actually introverts. They need to be alone to recharge And then through human design to discover, well, they all have two lines and they need to hermit in order to be energized. It made me a better mother. Because I wasn't expecting them to have extroverted energy. I knew that once they gave out their energy, their path back was to be alone. It was important for me to take care of myself and do things that filled me up. That was really what changed for me when I got my first life coach. I did not know anything about myself at all. And discovering I was an Enneagram two was transformative. Finding out, you know, strength finders and things like that, Uhhuh. I really was attracted watching you on Facebook, going for your walk. Sending out good vibes. Um, you talk a little bit about, you know, the cup not being half full or half empty, but overflowing. How does that show up in your life, this idea of gratitude and more than enough?

Speaker 2:

I always say, like it comes down to choice, but like, I've always been a really like positive. My cup is half full type of person. But within the last couple years, and the more I do personal development work, the more I heal like child wounds and stuff like that, the more I realize that truly like our cups should be overflowing with love and light, and being able to pour that out and like spill that out and share it with other people because I mean. I think so much, so much as like a mom in the earlier years, I just, I put way too much on my plate. I didn't know how to ask for support. I didn't even know what support looked like. I was burnt out on both ends constantly thinking that I had to do everything. Me too.

Speaker:

And

Speaker 2:

yeah, like we put so much on our plates as mom and moms and then like now, like the kids are older. My kids are. Um, in seventh, ninth, and 11th grade. And so it's kind of interesting. I was just talking to someone the other night about this, but like, I feel like even though they're older and they don't need us as much, but at the same time, these ages kind of mirror the toddler ages of, um, so they're. 12, 15 and almost 17. But these teenage years are kind of mirroring the toddler years where they, they're like, oh, I'm gonna do it by myself. And then all of a sudden, mom, can you help me clean up this huge mess or whatever. Exactly. Um, and I love it at the same time, because I know like eventually they are gonna be outta the house and, um. I just want to make sure my cup is overflowing, so when they do need me, I'm not this like angry, irritated, burnt out mom that's like, just like irritated. I feel like the ways I do fill up my cup is, is learning honestly. One thing I've been learning is to say no more often than I say yes and how important it is to protect our yeses and like. Just saying no to people, situations, boundaries, all those things has been huge to protect energy. And then just as simple as like, I need to go to bed at a certain time, so I have a restful night of sleep. I need to make sure I'm walking each day, staying hydrated, um, cleaning up my nutrition, like all of that factors in, and having ways to de-stress. I'm a big journaler. I will journal. All day long if you'd let me kind of thing. Um, and just how healing that's been to heal my emotions. I love the school year because I have those gaps of like, oh, like I'm gonna work a little bit, I'm gonna take care of myself. Then the kids come home and then it's like, Ooh, dinner, bedtime. So just learning to find balance issues

Speaker:

gonna appreciate it. Mine are a little bit older than yours. They're almost 25, almost 27, and almost 30, and they're all flown. They live. Three different states, and I learned some of this way back in 2016. So about the same time as you are in parenting. And the better care I took of myself, like the more I focused on going to the gym. One of my first things I learned at Nine Round, which was a kickboxing gym. My trainer said to me, you're worth 30 minutes. Because for all the years prior to that, I put everybody else first.-And if I had 30 minutes, I would go, but I didn't prioritize it. When I began to prioritize myself, everything changed. Because if I was tired. I went to bed. If I was hungry, I ate healthy food. And if I was needing to do something like exercise, I made the time and the space for it. And I think that the key, especially for moms to not think self-care is selfish, but to know it's what moves you forward. And so you've been in the physical training world finding the different support nutritionally that. Has helped you. Yeah. How did you change that mindset from overgiving and over caring to, if I take care of myself first, I will have something for other people. Do you remember a certain day that you finally were so frustrated and angry, you're like, I have to do something different, or was it a more slow change?

Speaker 2:

You know what's crazy is that it came from the overgiving where I found my avenue through for per personal training. I was working at a daycare bringing the three kids with me, and there was a coworker. And, my youngest at the time was like six months old. A coworker was like, Shabana, you seem healthy um, will you help me lose weight? And like literally by encouraging her, and I didn't, I didn't have my certifications back then. It was just this love that I had to encourage people and help them and kind of guide her and stuff. She lost like 40 pounds of baby weight.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I was like, oh my gosh. Like, what if I was a personal trainer? What if I really did this in real life? Not just like as a friend, you know. And I feel like I always say yes to thing, maybe sometimes to a, a fault. But in this situation I was like, yeah, of course I can help you. Like why not? You know, like, let's see what happens. And it worked and it was awesome. We ended up moving, and then, one night I was going to the grocery store and I saw this gym to the right and I was like, oh, I should just go in and see if they're hiring. So I just walked in with my resume and I was like, so are you guys hiring personal trainers? And the guy's like, well, you need to be certified. Are you certified? I was like, oh, um, no, but here's my resume. And he is like, all right, I'll give it to my boss and see what happens. I was like, okay, cool. And, um, I had originally gone down to the, down the road of becoming a kindergarten teacher. So like, my background has been like childcare and like, you know, the church nursery, right? And babysitting at the age of 13. I'm like, and I think back, I'm like, what was it? Whoa, I haven't been, trust me with these kids. I mean, of course everyone stayed alive and that's good, but I'm like, oh man, it was a different world. We,

Speaker:

everyone, our eight, I'm a little older than you, but oh my goodness. People leaving me with their babies when I was 12. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly. I mean, my mom was on speed dial kind of thing, but still I was just like, oh my gosh. But anyway, so they looked at my resume and saw all the childcare experience that I had had, and they're like, um, we have an offer for you. You can come in and be the single teacher in there and work in like the kid zone. And, bring your kids with you. You get a free, membership to the gym and then get certified and then you can be out on the floor and then you can do both. And I took the risk and I was there for I believe like five years and it was such a great season. Yeah. And, that helped me, release like 30 to 40 pounds of my own baby weight and stuff like that after the third child was born. So it's like I fell into fitness because I was able to encourage my one friend and she had great results. But really I didn't even realize all the stuff that would would come after these little conversations.

Speaker:

And how, and I love having conversations like this because I think this is true. Howard Schultz has said before that most of the time the wisdom we get in life is we look back and we realize, oh, it was this rock to that rock to this rock. Yeah. We could not see how to get from the shore over across the river. But when you're, when you finish it, you look back and you think, oh, of course. I don't know how you found Kathy Heller. I found her on a podcast. I no longer listen to. Like I'm not aligned to that podcaster, Uhhuh, she was a guest and I found her through there. Mm-hmm. And I've connected with so many amazing people, but what I love about her and some of the other women in the coaching world is there an example of what's possible. And it's not based on certifications, it's based on the gifts that come to you. You know, intuitively. Mm-hmm. I love learning I have a degree in education and I, went to Bible college, but I really think most of what we do that changes people's lives. Is the fact that something intuitively was inside of you. You saw another person, you made her feel seen and known and loved. Yeah. You encouraged her to take those small baby steps in the right direction. And that's what you're still doing today with your children and with the people that get to meet you. Yeah. And so, yeah, you should follow Shabana on Facebook. I think you turn it on and there you are smiling and saying, come on everybody, let's go. One of the things that changed my life a few years ago was Jen Whitmer. An Enneagram coach, said, just walk every day. And that felt really doable. Yes. And I wouldn't say I do it every single day, but I'm 56. We went to see my oldest daughter outside of New York City and we walked 26,000 steps and then the next week we to Denver. And so my other daughter and walked 25,000 steps. So I'm moving in the direction of staying strong. There's, of course we both would have a list a mile wide of things we would do slightly different, but you only have the energy you have. I think that, taking the time to care for yourself moves us away from resentful, overwhelmed, frustrated, angry mothers into peaceful. Or connected. Or abundant or whatever it might be. What are some of the words that you think drive, like the values that are aligned with you? For me this year, authenticity feels really important, but in the past it's been brave and creative and purpose-filled. Do any values come to mind as what you want directing your path as you work with people?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. No, I love that. There's a couple words that come to mind. In January I went to Kathy Heller's retreat in Boca Raton, Florida, and we did an exercise like that, mine was, golden light. Oh, tell me about

Speaker:

that.

Speaker 2:

For me, it's like, try to do it in the morning, but just to receive that like heavenly divine. Thoughts, inspiration, nudges. Yes, and like, like I just try to close my eyes and imagine like this golden light coming down from the heavens and the skies pouring down into me and then being released out. Whether I like journal it out or just it's for me or for other people or whatever. But just like bathing in that can you even imagine a world

Speaker:

where all of us get up in the morning and that's the first thing we do? We close our eyes, we receive the goodness and the love. Yeah. And then we see our job is to share that out. That would be amazing. It would be amazing. We would all be walking in a different energy, for sure.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm. And so trying to, um, stick with that. And then when I like take my daily walks like I just posted today that it's like kind of like this golden hour because the sun is just perfect and the lighting is just amazing. I'm like, oh, I gotta record and just say hi to everyone, even if it's just a friendly Hello. Um. And the other thing I got out of this, the retreat that I just attended, was the word restful.

Speaker:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

And I love that because usually my word choice is like adventurous and brave and daring and blah, blah blah. And like it was like restful. I'm like, oh, what is this? This sounds good. This is very intriguing for a person who likes to be doing something all the time. Um, so it's amazing that something so simple as restful would be a challenge. But also an acceptance, an allowance, a receiving,

Speaker:

kind of thing. So restfully, that's one of the things I'm most passionate about, is discovering that as human beings we need mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual rest. Physical, we're kind of used to maybe we take a nap or you drink some water or you do some yoga, mental, you can at least Google concussion protocol and get some ideas, like stay off the phone and go in a dark room. I think emotional and spiritual is really hard. So one of the tools I use. Is all letter S's of stillness and silence and solitude. I love that. Scripture and singing. And um, so one of my very favorite things to do is to take a bath with candlelight at night. Oh, yes. Because it's all the things at once. It's uhhuh silent and solitude and oh my gosh, I love that. But I love the idea that moms in particular, if we can prioritize our rest and fill our own soul with this golden light. Then what we're giving back into the world. I know when I was a frustrated, angry, resentful mom, it, it was because I took too many actions from a place of love that weren't my best yes. They should have been. No. Yeah. And I was always over volunteering and overgiving and you know, I didn't count the work I did as a mom because the money wasn't equal to my husband's rather than the value that I was bringing to the family. Oh my gosh, yes. Measuring it by.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah, going back. Into like, like intuitive stuff and like listening in and those divine guidance and stuff like that. I went to Kathy Heller's retreat back in April, and this was in February. I had gone back to India for myself. I went on this 10 day tour. I wanted to see the culture. I wanted to see everything that I came from, from being adopted. When I came to the States, that was like 36 years ago. And then I got to explore India and enjoy it. And then at the end of the trip we went, to the orphanage I was from. And just to be there for those like two to three hours and see it was so amazing and awesome. Then I got back from India and I was like, oh, I need to like sign up for Kathy's retreat. It's in like two weeks. I had made that decision. It was a free add-on bonus to one of her courses, so I was like, it's free, like I have to go kind of thing. Um, and it was one of those things that I went, because I knew I was supposed to go however, I was like, why am I going? I don't have like. A certain like business, and I don't have a podcast yet. I was like, I don't really fit in, but I'm gonna go. So I went and we learned about human design. And I had told the lady who was leading the workshop, I was like, I don't have a birthday, so like, what do you want me to do? And she's like, just listen in and like see what resonates with you. That sounds weird that I don't have a birthday, but being adopted, you know, they, they give you the birthday, whatever they decide at the orphanage kind of thing. And I've always honored my birthday. I've never questioned my birthday. I love my birthday. But at this retreat we learned about human design. You're supposed to know your birthday and stuff like that. So she's like, just listen in and whatever, like feels right and resonates with you., Go with that. So I ended up with Manifesting Generator, which is like super cool. And if you don't know human design, you need to go learn it So I had taken my given birthday and like the stuff did not line up, but then I put in my, the birthday that I thought I had heard during this human design, um, teaching. It like aligned with manifesting generator and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna keep it There's like a whole backstory to all that, but my chosen birthday is April 22nd. And it's also Earth Day, so that's amazing too. So it's just like, I don't know. You think like. Because you're adopted, like things are different or whatever. Or you're the weird one, but then you're like, oh, wait, like I can choose a birthday. I can have two birthdays. I think it's fun that I get to honor and celebrate both.

Speaker:

I I love that for you too. I'm actually adopted as well. I never met my birth father, I didn't know. Later in life. It was actually a really interesting story. I haven't shared this in the podcast before. Oprah Winfrey discovered her biological sister on her TV show. That same week I discovered that I had a sister and brother, and that they live literally minutes from my house. Like we could have bumped into each in the grocery store. So really interesting story. Wow. I have a picture in my room and it's all different colors. In the outline and outside the outline, because I think auras live outside our body. I don't think our aura fits inside. I think it's bigger. Mm-hmm. It's all these different colors and I think when you grow in self-awareness, you start to notice all these unique things. So manifesting generators, the two of us are having conversation. If we don't pay attention, we're gonna squirrel and end up over. You know, that's just how we're gonna have a conversation, which is different from two other types of people. Or you're an extrovert. And I'm an extrovert. We go out and we get energy, and maybe both our husbands are introverts and they're losing their energy. And if we can begin to notice that and do more of what gives us life and less of what depletes us without making it mean anything. One of the things I say all the time in my coaching program is you can notice without judgment, and when it's with judgment, it's like I should a good mother, should a good daughter would, you know, versus what do I need to be that overflowing cup of golden light. C athy Heller has been a big influence on a lot of us. One of my favorite things she did this year was create one minute, meditations. Has that served you in any way having a way to start the day with that?

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah. I love it. Like I love that it's my first text message of the day and it has that little snippet of reminder, and then when I get to it, I'll get to the meditation part. But it was interesting that on my birthday. In the text it said golden light. It did. That meditation was like literally I felt like perfect for me and I was like, oh, she did this for me. How sweet. I like

Speaker:

the

Speaker 2:

universe.

Speaker:

Did that for you. Yeah. That is so beautiful. Well, that's a great way for us to end. Tell people how they can follow you and connect with you and learn from you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so you can follow me on either Facebook or Instagram. It's just Shabana Knight with a K, and then we'll just put the link tree, in the show notes and then if you click on there, it has all my different handles and different podcasts I've been on. And I guess the newest venture. I just launched my podcast and I'm like so excited about it and super. It's simple and sweet. Called Organized Chaos. Stories with Shavana. You can find me on Apple Podcast. Please follow along. Gimme a five star review and all that good stuff. I love that.

Speaker 6:

thank you for joining the Live A Vibrant Life podcast. I hope our time together encourage you and will equip you with the tools you need to move into the vibrant life you desire. I'm here to help you live a brave, creative, purpose-filled life. And if you'd like to learn more. You can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly tibbits life coach, or visit my website kelly tibbits.com. I look forward to connecting again soon.

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Kelly Tibbitts

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