Aligning Your Home with Your Values

Take a listen to today’s episode as Kelly encourages us to visualize the life and the home we wish to create.  Creating a Home you Love Coming Home To is not just about tidying up your spaces—it's about aligning your environment with your personal values. The goal is less about your home and more about YOU. 

Main Points: 

• What values do you want in your home? I want my home to be calm. I don't want it to be cluttered and overwhelming. I want to make sure that my home feels inviting..
• Think of 3 things that are working and 3 that are not working.
• When items in that space no longer reflect your values  you want it to reflect, let those things go- say “thank you and goodbye”.  

Links 

• Join Kelly's Group Coaching Program

Let's connect.

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Transcript

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Hey friends. This week on the podcast, I'm sharing one of the workshops from my live, a Vibrant Life Group coaching program. We're gonna be talking about the power thought of creating a home. We love coming home to. I hope you enjoy it. Welcome to the Live A Vibrant Life podcast. I'm life coach Kelly Tibbitts, and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self-awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose. I believe self-awareness changes everything. Let's get started. Welcome to create a Home you Love coming home to. For the spring, we are going to have a power thought you can create a home you love coming home to. We're going to have very simple, small steps that move us forward. And the goal is less about the home. More about you. Why do you think what you think on repeat, how does that make you feel? Is it moving you towards or away from the values that are important to you? So we always are gonna start with noticing. And before we notice our home, let's notice the body that our soul lives in this home. So if you close your eyes and you take a couple of breaths, and again, it's sometimes helpful to do two breaths in and a sigh out, what are you noticing? Do you feel calm, connected, aligned? Do you feel a little overwhelmed, a little frustrated, whatever you're noticing? Let's start there without judgment. The last few days, the last few weeks, the last few months has created this space that we are in. So we're gonna start to notice one of the most important things we can do as we create a home we love coming home to is notice what our values are and see if we have alignment. So I have values that drive my company. I wanna be collaborative and generous, and I wanna help people create expeditious results, especially around self-awareness. But what values do I want in my home? I want my home to be calm. I don't want it to be cluttered and overwhelming. I want to make sure that my home feels inviting. And so that would be an intentional decision about what I keep and what I don't keep. But this week I was re-listening to one of my favorite podcasts on Mel Robbins. And she had an organizational expert in, and the person was talking to her about the idea of boundaries. And I love boundaries for myself. Boundaries say, this is what I will and I will not do. And she was saying specifically about the boundaries of your house is deciding in advance that the limits that you have are good. So say the limit for your home for the dishes is a cabinet. What she suggests is not that, unlike things we've often done where you take everything out, but before you put everything back in. So we would say you take it all out, you put at, you know, put it somewhere, you look at it before you put it back in. What would you like that space to look like? And then before you start putting things in, start with your favorite things. So, have you ever done this before? I did this exact activity. After listening to the podcast, I took everything out of my underwear drawer and I had bought really cute little containers to put inside the drawer so everything would stay perfectly easy to access, but I had never thought start with my favorite before. I put it back and then stop when it looks the way I want it to look. In the past, I just would've shoved as many things as possible into that drawer because why would I throw something out that I had paid for, even if I never wore it and I didn't like it? So it was a new way to think. So let's start by noticing your spaces and your thoughts about those spaces. Your thoughts about those spaces are going to be, um, based on your values. What are your values is so key to you moving forward. Creating a life that is vibrant and creating a home that you love coming home. So you wanna be able to notice your thoughts. You have the authority over your thoughts. Sometimes it doesn't feel like that because your human brain is going to offer you tens of thousands of thoughts a day. But we do get to decide which thoughts we want on repeat and which ones we don't because they're not serving us. And so I live in New Hampshire. The sun is out, the birds are singing. I'm feeling very much the spring cleaning energy that comes in New Hampshire around this time of year. But what's so interesting is I work for a doctor who is Jewish, and there's actually in the Bible this season before Passover where the people of Israel were told to clean out their houses. And I just think it's so fun that it kind of aligns. It's like a human desire to clean out what we have and to get it back in order. And there's no one right way to do it. But I think for all of us to start with, our values is going to be key. So do you know any of your values? Could you name them what's important to you? It might be words of the Year that you've put into place in your life. I think about words that I have of being brave and creative and intentional and integrated. Maybe you'll notice some of those words. And those are the boundaries. Those are the values. So let's decide right now. We're gonna start in our mind's eye with the smallest space in your house. It could be a small hallway closet, it could be a small bathroom. It could be a small baby's room. Find in your mind's eye, the smallest room and see if you can go there right now and notice one to three things that are working. What do you like about that Very small space? And if you don't wanna use the whole room, maybe you just wanna say the desk you do your work at. What are one to three things that are working, and then can you notice one to three things that are not working? And one for each is great. It's a really good starting place. One thing you may notice is one of these two sides is easier for your human brain. Some of us are fantastic at noticing what's working, and it's a little bit harder to notice what's not working. Some of us notice very easily what's not working. It's a little bit harder to notice what is working. See if you can find one to three for each of those things. Write it down, use your notes, app, whatever is the best way for you to notice, and then keep that information. So once you've noticed and you've written down a couple of things, pick one of the things that is not working, just one of them, and we're gonna make some decisions. Now you might decide. I want to delegate this. I'm gonna hire somebody to come in and do it. I'm gonna ask somebody else to come and do it. You might decide it is something that you wanna break down into small tasks. You don't have the energy to do the whole thing right now this week, but maybe you have the energy to do a little bit today and a little bit in two days and a little bit a week after that. What would you like to decide about? One thing that is on your not working list. So look at your not working list. Pick one thing and make one decision. Once you've written down that decision, ideally you know the time and the place and the space that you're gonna work on it. So if you've ever done a little bit of working outside the home for money, you know that the reason there's all of these return to office pushes is'cause people believe that you're gonna do a better job if you're forced to be in one spot for a certain amount of time. Now, there's a lot of evidence that that's not true, but if you do have a decision that says, I'm gonna be here at this time for this thing. Often you show up for it. So that's why some people find it better to go to the gym than to just work out at home, because you're gonna be there for a 12 o'clock class and you know exactly where it's gonna take place. That's the level of decision you wanna make right now, with the one thing that's not working best for you, you're gonna decide, is it yours to focus on? Are you delegating it or are you deciding, I just don't have the energy for this right now. This is not where I'm gonna focus. I'm aware of it, but I'm not focusing. That's your decision. And then your decision needs very small practice steps, and you'll know they're small enough. If in your body it feels like ease. Oh, of course. So one of my favorite examples from James Clear's Atomic Habits is he says, if you wanna become somebody who exercises on a regular basis, the first thing you do is because somebody who wears your sneakers, and if your sneakers are on, that's gonna move you forward. Nobody is going to say, oh no. Putting on my sneakers is too hard. Um, that's how small you want the step to be. So now we wanna notice what thoughts may have brought us to the place we are today. Not just with the home we love coming home to, but just all of our life. So when you think of that one small space, would you say you would describe that space as organized, inviting, welcoming? Do you like going there? Do you share that space with others in your household that makes the process so much harder? If you have to share the space with somebody else, there's a lot of conversations, emotional energy that have to go into that space. So I would never encourage you to start with a space that you share with others and they have equal authority in the decision. Start with a space where if you make the decision, it's all up to you. Maybe it's a drawer that is in your bureau. Always easier than a space that you both have some insight into. Do you find in general, in your life you're finding things easily, you're putting them away easily? Um, I did just record a podcast with Amy Slinker Smith, and she gives some really practical tips on making sure that you can find things and put them away easily. She starts with something as simple as your car keys and what she suggested I had never thought of, which is, go to the door, you come in. And work backwards from that door. Where do you start to walk? That's where you should have the bowl that holds your keys, not just because it's a pretty place. If you don't tend to go buy that bowl on the way to the door, it's gonna be a lot harder to put it away. It's a really great podcast. Those small steps can add minutes and hours to our day just by knowing how to find our things and then also put them away easily. When you start to notice with that one small space, you're going to repeat this in all the areas of your life, do you even know what you have? Sometimes we have to go through the process of going into multiple spaces and bringing all the things together to even know what we have. And so that's our goal for today, is just to notice what would we like our home to look like? It should be a place that we love coming home to. What are our thoughts about it? What are our decisions about it? So we're gonna practice with. A new power thought and we're starting with a home. We love coming home to, but really the goal is that we would be people, right? Our home is where our soul lives in our body, that we can be kind and loving to ourselves. So when we practice a thought, like my space, my kitchen, my living room, my hallway closet has things in it that is a neutral thought. There's no judgment there, and it helps us to create better small practice steps. That's the same kinda language we wanna have for ourselves. My body is a body is a very neutral thought versus all the thoughts we could have about our body not looking like it did when we were 12 years old. So power thoughts are incredibly important, but because we live such busy, busy lives, it's hard to keep them in focus. One of the things that I find helpful is to get a notebook that I keep on my desk where I can daily write my power thoughts over a week. And being able to review them on a daily basis, it's amazing how quickly I forget them, but by keeping something right next to me when I first wake up in the morning and writing my power thoughts helps me to grow in my ability to remember what I wanna be thinking on purpose. So what power thought? And if you can't get to something without judgment, keep it so neutral. My kitchen has things in it, not I'm very lazy and disorganized, and my kitchen is a mess that is not gonna serve you. So start with a neutral thought from that thought. Notice the feelings that come from it. And remember, your decisions are driven by feelings. If the thought is, oh, my kitchen is so overwhelming, there is no part of you that's going to want to go take care of that space. If your kitchen has things in it, and I'm good at making small practice steps and I'm good at moving things forward, it's going to be easier to make the decisions that move the space forward and create a home you love coming home to. So you notice your thought, you notice the feeling, you practice feeling your feelings. If we can practice feeling or feelings about the kitchen, we're gonna get even better at feeling our feelings about our decisions and our relationships and other important things. And then for the small steps. You can always start with sort of the Marie Kondo idea of take everything out, clean the space, and put back what you're keeping as you're putting back. Start with your values. Is your value that you want it to be beautiful? Is it your value that you want it to be clear, uncluttered, simple? See if you can name a value, and as you're putting your things back, that value should drive the decisions. And then here's maybe a new idea for you. Start with your favorite things. And when the space no longer reflects what you want it to reflect, let the things go say goodbye. Trust that the donation, the recycle, or even throwing it in the dump is fine. And so what results you choose? If you can make it small, it's easier to achieve. So rather than I want my whole home to be a home, I love coming home to maybe this week, I'd love the desk I do a lot of work at to be a desk. I love sitting at. I'd love my kitchen to be clear enough that I can easily have people over make the smaller result. The decision that you're making today, because the smaller result you choose, the easier it will be to achieve that. So what are our three steps? We're gonna use them all the time in all of our coaching of our human brains. Step one, notice. Become aware. Take the things out of the cabinet, take them out of the drawer, ask yourself, is it serving me? When was the last time I used it with a neutral aligned energy. If we love ourselves, we don't have to walk around with empty cups looking for other people to fill us. From that aligned energy, what decision are you making? Maybe you're deciding that when things don't fit into the drawer, you're going to cut it in half'cause you want it to be so easy to put things in that drawer. Maybe you're deciding there's six people in your family, so you never keep more than 12 of anything. Whatever you're deciding, make a small decision, write it down, make it memorable. And then the small steps, maybe deciding today that you're gonna practice saying goodbye and thank you to things. I learned this years ago from Marie Kondo that some of the things in our homes have an emotional attachment. Your child made it for you, somebody you love gave it to you as a gift. You've never liked it, but you've felt an obligation to keep it. And so when you say thank you to it, I promise it's easier to say goodbye. Take a picture if you need to because you want the memory, but it's okay to let go of things and create a home you love coming home to. Creating the space that you want is the first step in living a vibrant life. Because what creates a life that's not vibrant, where we're overwhelmed and frustrated and confused and depleted. It's saying yeses that should have been nos. It's not holding onto the decisions that create the energy that we want. Thank you for joining the Live A Vibrant Life podcast. I hope our time together encourage you and we'll equip you with the tools you need to move into the vibrant life you desire. I'm here to help you live a brave, creative. Purpose-filled life. And if you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly tibbits life coach, or visit my website kelly tibbits.com. I look forward to connecting again soon.