Choose Peaceful Productivity

The new year often begins with enthusiasm for productivity, goal-setting, and resolutions. However, many people struggle to maintain this momentum, dropping their goals by mid-January. This week on the podcast, Coach Kelly offers a fresh approach. 

Key Points: 

Adopt a slower pace
Instead of diving into an exhaustive list of New Year's goals, consider adopting a slower pace that aligns with the natural rhythm of winter. This allows for clarity and realistic goal-setting. Exploring personal energy levelswhether "low and slow" or "fast and frenetic"can help tailor a productive approach to personal goals. 


"Pause" and "Pivot": 
When resetting goals, incorporating practices like pausing helps manage overwhelm and cultivate peace. For example, using breathing exercises can create a sense of safety and calm. Additionally, the ability to "pivot" at a slow, manageable pace rather than rushing can enhance effectiveness and reduce errors. 


Notice your seasonal energy : 
Acknowledging that energy levels change throughout the year. For instance, adjusting routines and expectations in winter can align with lower natural energy, enhancing well-being and productivity. 

Let's connect.

I am cheering for you!

Transcript

0:09

Welcome to the Live a Vibrant Life podcast. I'm life coach Kelly Tibbitts, and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose. I believe self awareness changes everything. Let's get started. I'm so excited to welcome back my guest Ellen Malhot. We are talking today about our current series Peaceful Productivity. Ellen, welcome back to the podcast. We are going to be talking about ideas that can help you create peaceful productivity. Now, there is a lot of energy in the world in January. About becoming more productive, about setting New Year's resolutions and intentions and goals. And the reality is, most of us set an intention on January 1st, and then by the 5th or the 10th or the 20th of January, because that goal hasn't happened, we just let it go completely. I think you've read something about how people so that they can set aside their goals in January. There's all these stats about how people don't follow through, or very few, it's a low percentage. I can't remember the number off the top of my head, but But yet we try it again every year. And so, you know, you and I created this class and it's very interesting to, to approach the new year and say, wait a minute, I'm going to try something a little different this year. I'm not going to, you know, hit the ground running with this big list of impossible goals or nearly impossible goals or goals that I've been working on for years. And I just keep blaming myself, for why it hasn't happened. One of the ways we've learned that really helps is slowing everything down. It fits with winter in general, right? But it also gives you time to think more clearly and to make more realistic steps towards those goals and reevaluate how you approach goal setting in the first place. So that is step one. Step two, we're going to be talking about are you moving sort of a low and slow energy or a fast and frenetic energy? And if you've spent any time with me, you know that most of my life was spent over in fast and frenetic. So this is a new tool that I'm really appreciating in my life. And then the third thing we're going to talk about is this idea that winter has different energy. then summer. And I think growing up and living in America, especially in New England, we try to accidentally live like it's always the middle of June. We act like we have more, you know, bright sunshine than we do. And so just noticing the energy of the seasons and then applying it. So let's go back to goal setting reset. I think that the marketing that most of us experience in January tells us one of the things that I have heard you say a million times is the worst thing to believe. Here's the three simple steps to losing 50 pounds. Here's the three simple steps. to, you know, putting 10, 000 in your bank account. What is it about goal setting and thinking that there's some simple three set, you know, here's the three steps. Um, it just doesn't serve us, does it? Well, and I think the biggest mistake is we think there's a, we want there to be a one size all one size fits all solution, right? Everybody's so different. Maybe there's nuances that are unique to each person. And if you don't have the self awareness to know that about yourself and to, to put the time into figuring it out for yourself, it's just a disservice. It's like a useless bit of information. And, and we work a lot on, you know, self awareness and. Understanding yourself and the uniqueness of your energy and how you make decisions and what motivates you. There can't ever be a one size fits all solution, unless you make the category so broad, they're not even really useful. Right. that's why we put so much work and time into ourselves, but also sharing it over and over again, because it's a long process. The baby steps, the progress and the aha moments along the way, they grow faster because then you're creating new neural pathways that then it's easier. It's not as much work to do the things you started working on a few months ago, so you can layer on the next thing. I was reminded of the book atomic habits, which I read a couple of years ago. I feel like. Everybody should read that book every January. Start over again. I was talking, the other day about the first chapter is about systems versus a goal. And, and I think that's really powerful message of work on, on the systems and not just the outcome. Right. And I feel like I got to read that book again, because that's very, very helpful, especially, you know, when you are making your new goals, or we should be doing this all year long, not just in January. It's a good reminder to focus on the systems and the habits and the process as opposed to just what you want the end result to be. And I love how he explains that, like, if I want to be a person who's healthy and strong, that's so different than a goal of, I want to go to the gym twice a week. Right. Like, a person who is healthy and strong probably goes to the gym twice a week, but probably also eats healthy food and That can be applied to other areas as well. And that's why we're talking about goal setting reset. So even if, you know, listening to this podcast today, there are things that are important to you that you're not getting to. Resetting might be as simple as saying, this is the year I appreciate the body I have. I'm so thankful for it, I love it, and I'm going to have a great relationship with the food that I eat. It's going to be food that serves this body. Or, I want to be healthy and strong when I'm 75. And so the choices I make today affect that, and that's why I'm deciding what I decide. two of the words we discussed today, are the words pause and pivot, when you're thinking about resetting your goals. And so pause, for me, working with somatic coaches, and learning how to just really connect to my body and see how I can pause. We were talking about this tool of breathing out longer then you breathe in,helps your body know there's no lion chasing you. You're actually safe. So if you're feeling a little overwhelmed right now at the idea of setting goals and moving forward and anything that's important to you, maybe that's your one step for today that's breathing in and breathing out such a powerful tool. And what I love about it is you don't have to buy anything. All you have to do is remember to do it and to practice it. And, and it forces you to pause because you kind of have to think about your breathing, which we of course don't always do. And you can do it when you're waiting in line or when you're in a stoplight or, or whenever. And the more you do it, obviously, the more it becomes a habit. And then it creates health in other areas as well. Yeah, I was sharing, I think, with you the other day, my husband and I don't often cook at the same time, but he was making dinner for my daughter and he were both going to have fish and I don't like fish. So I had a dinner that was almost done and he had a dinner that was almost done and he was standing exactly where I needed to be. And to use my own tool of saying, okay, I'm going to use this time just for some breathing. And it was amazing. The peace I was able to keep in my body where before it'd be like, uh, you know, thoughts that we're putting some doing. So we've talked about that before in the, when you're in the line at the grocery store and Line open up and all these people and there's like this race over because you might save a minute of your day by being in a shorter line. Freedom, comes from just letting everybody else do that and just staying where you are. And if you are still a little bit longer, use that time to practice your breathing. It's amazing. That's one of the things we're offering you it's not necessary to run frenetic You can. You can breathe and you can create peaceful productivity. Then the other word we used is pivot. And today you had a little bit of an aha that not pivoting in a rushing way, like we're in the middle of a world championship basketball game, but pivoting in a slow way. I think over and over, that's becoming the theme. Can I go a little slower Any thoughts about pivoting? Yeah. We talk about people that can pivot well. I wouldn't pivot well if I had to pivot fast because I just don't switch gears well. I think most people are probably fooling themselves if they think that's a good thing because it's, it, opens up room for sloppiness. It's like that multitasking thing. It's like, you're just kind of setting yourself up for making mistakes and. You know, thinking you're doing more than one thing at once, but you're really just switching quickly and making mistakes and needing to do it all over again. Um, yeah, the slow pivot, and it doesn't mean like so slow that you're not getting things done. It literally can be a matter of a few seconds. Pause, you know, pausing enough to breathe or to not walk so fast down the stairs. Or, you know, we talk about driving a lot, right? Do we need to automatically go to the fast lane? You know, all those, there's so many little teeny ways that the pivot can be slower and create more health and more calm and more peace, which leads to the productivity that we're talking about, right? Because we've been doing this for a couple of years now, we're starting to see those long term results of the neural pathway. And then actually, once we've done the work and created a result, then it's just a little bit of some practices to keep it going. So the big idea for today is I can create peaceful productivity. And the thought that's probably in most of our brains that we're not noticing is I need to be fast and frenetic. Or I won't create the result. And you and I were just speaking with somebody who was mentioning, sometimes in an office, it's almost like the energy comes at you. You have to be faster. You have to work frenetically. Like, it just feels like that is the energy a lot of people send. So, any thoughts on low and slow to create peaceful productivity rather than fast and frenetic? It's very hard when those around you are fast and frenetic, not to feel like you're missing out on something or you're going too slow. I, for me, when I work in that environment, when I'm around it, it's very hard for me to not be affected by that kind of energy. And so it takes That much more effort and intentionality to not jump in. Think I think of it as the, you know, being in the eye of a hurricane. It's like there's an eye in every hurricane, right? And if you can live in that space, there's no wind there, right? And you've got the swirling around. The first time I heard that was in the context of when you have small children. Right. That is just a constant hurricane. And the mother and father ideally are in the eye of it. Just staying calm, even though. You know, there's all this stuff happening easier said than done for sure, but in a work environment or just for some personalities, it's easier. That's not my personality. I tend to be affected by those around me. But when you're around a calm person that's contagious too, right? So the idea of, I want to be that calm person that brings down the frenetic vibe in the room. That's pretty powerful statement. Right? And, pretty freeing. You're like, you're free to stay calm. It just takes intentionality and practice and I'm still working on that for sure. Oh, I think we're all a work in progress, but choosing to be that non anxious presence. I love that idea of like, you know, everyone comes back to our house and there's two ways to greet them at Christmas, right? There can be the fast and frenetic energy. Or there can be the low and slow and there'll be enough time and we'll get to what we need to get to. Those are just two different ways of doing life. When we break things down into small pieces, and I agree, James Clear's Atomic Habits, great book for helping you realize the value of breaking one task into small parts so that each little part, it's almost impossible to not get it done, right? That is often the path to success. But you could do those small 14 things today. Or, hey, my goal is the next three months, right? I love the idea of taking goals and spreading them out. Maybe there's three or four important things, but what would it look like between now and March to spend some time doing them? Can I do fewer things each day? The first big idea for today is, can you be creating peaceful productivity? And if you notice you're in that frenetic, anxious energy, maybe take some breaths. Breathe out a little longer than you're breathing in, get back to that calm, aligned energy. And then from there, say, well, what are one or two, three things that I could do that move me in the direction I want to go in? And if it takes two weeks or two months or two years, I'm fine with that. I think we say that we'd rather create peaceful productivity than be exhausted. the first thing we wanted to talk about was resetting our goals. And we wanted to talk a little bit about what it looks like to create from a place of peace, being a non anxious presence. And then the last thing, I love this idea of different seasons have different energy and we've read a couple of books about it. comes to mind? Was there a book that specifically helped you understand? Oh, of course, nature works this way. Winter is supposed to be a little lower and slower, and summer and winter aren't the same. A couple books, a couple blogs, the, Four Seasons Solution, Dallas Hartwig, the author, was what brought this more in my Life last year. The concept of how we are so disconnected from the natural rhythms and all in nature there are all these natural rhythms and humans especially in Western culture, and it's hurts our health. It hurts our mental health. It hurts our physical health. There's all these things, but we keep doing it, you know, and you talked about it earlier, like trying to You act at the same level of energy that you have in the summer and so there's all these ways around leaning into the season that that if you pay attention, it happens naturally. If you kind of, the obvious one is about food, right? We don't actually crave stews and not salad in the winter for a reason because that's what food is available You actually it's okay to sleep a little bit longer or just slow down your evening. You don't need to work in the evening. All year, each season, right? There's a different energy and I noticed this year, different energy. I didn't pick up on this last year because you and I talk a lot about the, nuance of the day and where your energy fluctuations and people have different levels and everyone's unique and, and I typically have more physical energy in the afternoons, but I noticed in the winter, there's a little bit of a shift. It's a small window. And it's a little bit earlier than it used to be. It's very subtle, but it's changed my schedule as much as I can change it. I've adapted to that because I'm paying attention to it. I guess that's really what it comes down to is paying attention to how winter affects your energy and not resisting it and not feeling like you have some kind of character flaw because you have a little bit less energy in the winter, we're actually made to have less energy in the winter. And it's been fascinating. I have a lot more to learn about it. But it's been really interesting. And that's one of our favorite things to talk about is you have mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual energy and it's not 100 percent all day long, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It fluctuates. You can't manufacture it. You cannot. I mean, you can have a soda and get what you feel like is a little bit more physical energy, but you're going to have to pay the price later. You're going to be tired when the sugar crash comes off, right? Right. Getting to a place where you feel comfortable enough noticing, hey, how's my mental energy first thing in the morning? That was so shocking to me to realize I have great mental energy first thing in the morning because I don't have good physical energy. I've never liked working out first thing in the morning, and I just decided that meant I'm not a morning person. But now I guard that first hour because it really is when my mind is, is very, very clear. How many of us judge ourselves like as being undisciplined or lazy if we don't work out when we think we're going to work out. It's like, well, actually, that's just not when your natural energy is. It's not about your character or your motivation, right? There's no, nothing has gone wrong. Well, we had seen, the Danish countries tend to have really high happiness levels, and they're cold a lot. It's dark and cold. But they have, and I think it's Hygge, am I saying it right? Yeah. It's the idea of like, well, how do we make this life cozy in the darkness? And it's not as fun to have blankets and candles in the middle of summer. Right. Right? There's something inviting and happy. So the Christmas tree goes away, and then most of us don't have a plan. for this winter that is still here, right? I went out and bought battery operated candles, and I do, like, my bath, shower, night, time now in candlelight, and it is amazing. I've seen a lot of things about getting a little candle for your kitchen and doing the same thing, having sort of this warm ambiance. At night when you're doing the cleanup and how people are finding that relaxing, what little tools and tricks do you have in your life for this winter energy? I call it night mode where it's dimmable lights. And when, when it starts to get dark, I pull shades down, I have a certain dimness that I like, and for me it just fits, like the lighting needs to fit. I want a brighter light at this time of day, and I want a dimmer light at this time of day, and it just makes me feel more aligned. Pay attention to that, and it can really help with your sense of peace. Yeah, so just noticing that, like, do you want to put some blankets out? Do you want to have some candlelight, tea? You and I were talking today with somebody who was talking about the practice of just making yourself some tea. Whether it's hot chocolate or tea, but something that you look forward to in the evening that's warm. And while the water is warming up, what if you use that time for your breath, for breathing in and then breathing out? Trying to get to that calm, aligned place instead of rushing through that to rush to the next thing. A little practice at night that could be a winter energy gift that you give to yourself. And we're so bad at it, right? How long does it take to boil a cup of water? You know, it's a great time to just pause and breathe. Yeah. I know, you know, scripture is something that's important to both of us and I saw this year that there's 30 books in the Bible that take less than 30 minutes to read. So even something like that of gifting yourself a warm space that's lit well for you, right? Day or night. And maybe like reading through a book of the Bible that's 30 minutes or less. You could, we have time for that. Right. You would hope our lives have enough space and time for the things that are important to us. So the reason we have the podcast is we want to share these tools with you, but we also want to invite you to join us. Ellen, what's the value of being in a zoom coaching circle? If the information is going to go out in the podcast anyway. Any reason why people might want to join a coaching circle? Oh, it's so helpful. When you, allow space for people to present an issue that you can coach them live there's that sense of camaraderie, I'm not the only one, right? It may not necessarily be the exact same challenge or problem, but usually something you can relate to. And then it's. Very interesting being coached versus witnessing or being there when somebody else is being coached because you get a different perspective and you learn equally from them both. And it's very beneficial and the sense of community that you've got being in a group is immensely helpful. There's something so powerful about saying I'm not alone in this. Yes. I'm not the only one who set an intention January 1st, and I'm still working towards it. But I think the biggest gift you and I have seen through coaching is when you don't actually give up and you keep those small practices small. And you take those baby steps forward. You and I have both seen transformative results in our own life, in the relationships with our adult children and our spouses, and even around our homes like these projects that can feel overwhelming when you break them down. Small bites, the right energy matching, you get the results you want. Absolutely worth the intentionality and effort. And it's not a quick fix. It's not a three step thing, but it's so worth it. I wouldn't trade the version of me for anything. And I agree. So that's our encouragement to you today. Go create those results you want in a peacefully. productive way. Ellen, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. And for you listening today, we really appreciate you. Find out more by going to kellytibbits. com. I would love to help you live a vibrant life. Thank you for joining the Live A Vibrant Life podcast. I hope our time together encourage you and will equip you with the tools you need to move into the vibrant life you desire. I'm here to help you live a brave, creative. Purpose filled life. And if you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly Tibbitts, life coach, or visit my website, Kellytibbitts.com I look forward to connecting again soon.