Let's Look Back & Learn

As we step into 2025, let’s  take time to breathe, reflect on past experiences, and dream about our future goals.  

Instead of starting over every year or having unfinished goals get automatically recycled,  let’s first look back at 

• what we already decided
•  what we already tried
•  and what needs to be changed and updated. 

 With curiosity rather than judgement, consider what didn’t work, what needs tweaking, or what might need a bit more of an overhaul. Finally, with gratitude, celebrate what worked well and what goals were reached.

Main points: 

• Spend some time reflecting on the past week, month, season, and year.
• Ask questions and consider with curiosity rather than self condemnation: What worked? What didn’t work? What could be done differently?
• Consider your goal setting system itself- sometimes the systems we set up do not work for us any longer.  OR maybe it’s a matter of how we measure success?
• Use the info you gathered during your reflection to make your plan for 2025. A “word of the year” can be a helpful guide.

Links 

• Join Kelly's Group Coaching Program

Let's connect.

I am cheering for you!

Transcript

0:09

Welcome to the Live a Vibrant Life podcast. I'm life coach Kelly Kibbitz, and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose. I believe self awareness changes everything. Let's get started. Welcome to Rethink Goal Setting 2025. We're pausing and putting some time to take the breaths we need to get into aligned energy into presence, as well as look back and dream about the future. In general, our lives are busy. There's so many great things to be doing. Even though this is important, there's no urgency to it. I really think that if we just take a few moments. Once a year in particular, but we might want to do it seasonally, monthly, maybe even weekly for a few moments and look back and learn and then also dream about the future. It's all sort of tied in together. We need to know where we want to go and we need to say what's working, what's not working, what would I do differently? And ask those questions from a place of curiosity, of deep love. There's no way to be more loved. You're a hundred percent loved just for breathing in and breathing out. At the same time, your purpose matters, your dreams matter. So let's just take a few moments today and look through our phone, look through journals, calendars, look through whatever it is that you use, to sort of track how 2024 went. And as we look back, let's see what we can learn. So starting with reflection is powerful, and it's never more important than when we start to prepare for our new goals. We want to know what's working, what's not working, and what could we do differently. At the same exact time, We really need, some past focused energy, some present focus energy and some energy that's looking to the future and deciding that where we go matters. The energy that we want to live in matters. So to start with goal setting, we always notice in the future, what do we want? One of the things that I have said before is if you have a piece of paper, draw a circle, cut the circle into different pie slices that reflect the different areas of your life. Start with you first. What do you want to do with your mental energy, your emotional energy, your physical energy, your spiritual energy? Maybe you're noticing you're not reading enough and you want to make that a part of what happens again in 2025. I know I noticed that a couple of years ago when somebody gifted me a book made of paper and I had been an avid reader for most of my life, but once I bought my Kindle, I stopped buying books that were made of paper and I don't like my Kindle as much as I like real paper books. So I started reading less and less and less and then somebody gave me a paper book, and I spent a cold, snowy day, and I read through the book quickly and realized, Oh, I want both. I want the Kindle for when it's convenient, and I also want paper books in my life again. And by bringing paper books in, both from the library and buying them, I started to read again. And that was really good for my mental energy. It's something that was important to me. As I moved into the future, I wanted to be somebody who read a lot of books and learned not just audibly. I love audible. I love podcasts. I wanted to read. So take one moment, take one breath, breathe in, hold it, big sigh out. Do that a couple of times till you feel your aligned, present, focused energy and notice what would you like for you, your relationships, the responsibilities you've already said yes to. Like maybe a working job, volunteer role, your home, and then a little bit of that pie belongs to your hopes and dreams. Do you want to host people in your home once a year? Do you want to write a blog? Whatever it is, you're noticing each area that's important to you gets a little part of that pie and that pie holds all of your energy. We don't have more than the energy we have, so we need to make sure that we're allocating it where we want to. Even though our human brain would say everything is equally important, the truth is we can only focus on one priority at a time. The ideal path forward is small baby steps, looking at everything, writing it down, getting it out of our brains, and then saying this is what I would like to focus on for this hour, for today, for this week, for this month, for this season. Now, after we've noticed what we're thinking about, we want to say, how did we get here? The action steps we've taken over the last few days, weeks, months in the last year brought us to this place. So maybe you're noticing you have 100 percent aligned energy emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, all of the hopes and dreams have the right allocated energy. That is so exciting. But most of us don't feel that deep connection of what we would desire and where we are with our energy, with our resources. So let's look back and notice. I wonder how I got here. One of the things I do when I do my review is just look back through my camera roll and see the pictures I took of things that were important. This year, 2025, I've started doing something different. I started putting my pictures into my notes app and adding a little bit of language below it because I realized I have all these pictures and I don't always remember anything at all about them. Where was I? Who was I with? Why was it important? Even if it's a selfie. What was the reason I took the selfie? Was I proud of myself? Was I feeling exhausted and just wanted to remember? So if you have a camera roll on your phone or a journal or calendar, that's a great place to start to look back and say, I wonder how I got here. So I'm recording this about a couple weeks after the holiday season has come to an end and I know if I could go in a time machine back to when my children were little, this was one of the most exhausting weeks for me. My kids were back in school. They weren't quite used to it. They were tired. All of the activities had started picking up again. I didn't get the time I needed during the holiday to rest well, and maybe people were starting to get sick. I know when I looked back, this was not an easy time of year for me. If I could go back and speak to that version of myself, I would say, there's nothing more important than resting until I'm no longer tired. Don't push forward with new goals if I'm tired. Rest and then bring some joy back. What do I enjoy doing? Make sure I have time and energy for that. So as you're looking back, at maybe just the last week. Maybe that's all the energy you have for today. Let's just look back at the last week. If you're noticing today, you're just not quite aligned. The energy, the values that are important to you are not showing up. You're not patient or kind or loving or full of hope or generosity. Let's just look at the last week. Are you noticing any thoughts? Many of our thoughts are on repeat from when we were quite young and they don't always serve us. So if it's possible, have a conversation with a friend and notice what you're thinking. Take out a journal and spend some time writing it down. Notice the feeling. Some of us don't even realize what we're feeling until our body is speaking so loudly we feel it as pain or sickness. But are you noticing any guilt? Now guilt is particularly an interesting word in that it means, You did something wrong you don't want to keep doing. Often time we use the word guilt and we really mean shame. But are you noticing any guilt, any rage, any anger, frustration, fear? Let's just be curious. Why do you think those feelings are here? If you're feeling resentful and you take a few moments and you're just curious, you're not judging it, you might notice that you kept saying yeses. When you should have said a few no's. That is true of me so often. When I feel resentful, it is because I said some yeses that should have been no's. I put other people first and I was people pleasing, which is not actually telling the truth. And my body was saying, you're past capacity. Let's stop saying yeses. You're feeling resentful. So when we can look at our emotions with curiosity and not judgment, it's often very beneficial. So you're noticing your thoughts, you're noticing your feelings, and we're trying to be kind and compassionate with ourselves. This might be new for you. It was very new for me when I first found coaching. So consider the words and the thoughts we have for ourselves and see if you would say that to a sweet little baby. Do you know anybody who just had a little baby? Maybe they're three months, six months, nine months. You're holding them in your arms. Would you ever say to that little baby any of the words you're saying to yourself? You should try it harder. You are not giving enough effort. Those thoughts come up a lot in January. The television is full of commercials saying if you just changed all these things about yourself, you'd be so much better. Exercise more, eat better, change everything about your finances. But what if you're already a hundred percent valuable, a hundred percent loved, and at the same time your hopes and dreams matter? That's the energy we want to start with today. So you take those breaths, you align to the truth of who you are, and you notice where you want to go and how we got here today. Before we create a whole bunch of new goals, it would be so beneficial to say, is there anything we can tweak? Instead of just starting fresh every year, can we look back at what we already decided? And maybe something like, I want to work out with weights three days a week sounds so easy, but when you look back at your calendar, you realize you don't have space that aligns with your physical energy three times a week currently. Could you change it to once a week? Could you change it to 15 minutes, three times a week? Instead of starting over and creating from scratch, is there anything we can do where we tweak? We just start to move a little bit, be a little gentle. Are you repeating any of the same goals you had last year? If we don't realize what's working, what's not working, and what we would do differently, we are setting ourselves up for failure. So if you set a goal last year, and you're sitting here today, and you're like, this is the same goal. What worked? Was there anything you did last year that helped move you forward? Is there anything you kept saying yes to or no to that wasn't working? Maybe we can decide to pause that. Is there anything that you'd like to do differently? So let's consider tweaking the goals instead of changing them and then finally, sometimes the systems we set up do not work. Many of us remember what life was like in 2019. I know I do. I used to drive a whole bunch more than I do. I used to work in my office. And do things like just take a shower and do my hair every day now because of COVID and how life has changed. The things that I used to do are no longer how I do things. If I have to, I've seen this with many people go back into an office daily. Some of the things I'm currently doing can't take place anymore because I'm going to need that time back. What are you noticing that you would like to say, this is something I did and it worked for a season, but it's not working right now and I'm going to stop doing it because it's not serving me. One of the most important reasons to have a coach is to have somebody else help you notice your thoughts. Because if we don't pay attention to our thoughts, we are unable to change the whole trajectory. Our thoughts are creating the feelings and the feelings are creating the actions. So what are you thinking about the systems in your life? And if they are working for you, let's keep them. But if they're not working, should we tweak them, put them to the side? Is it time to delegate some of the responsibility of our life? There's no need to throw it out and say it didn't work. Let's look at it and see if there's any parts we want to keep and what parts we want to decide are not for today. So here are a few questions. If it's safe to do so, take out a paper or you can take out your notes app. What worked? How was your 2024? What goals were reached? I love to start with gratitude because it's so easy for our human brain to go and find all the things that aren't working, but that's not the energy we want to be living in. Aligned vibrant energy starts with grace and compassion and generosity for ourselves so that we have it to give to others. So what did work last year? Were you kind and loving to the people you wanted to be kind and loving to? Did you set apart some time to grow, to learn new things, to connect with people? Some of the parts of our lives are working. Let's take a moment and notice them. And if possible, let's celebrate. Maybe you write yourself a card or go for a walk to celebrate or take yourself out for a cup of coffee. Let's decide today that something that is worth celebrating should be celebrated. What's working? And see if you can even pause this for a moment and write down three to five things that are working. Are you noticing that the changes that you wanted to make are getting some energy? I wish we had unlimited energy so that everything that's important could get the time and the energy and the resources it needs. But the reality is you're living the life you're living. I'm living the life I'm living. There's only so much time and energy. So, do you feel like you're giving some? Even if it's five minutes a week, are you giving some energy to the things that are important for you to change? I think about my children, and they all live independently now in their own homes. One of the things that's important to all of them is to eat healthy meals. Suppose they were able to make healthy meals three days a week with the busy lives they were living and they decided, I'm going to make a fourth healthy meal every other week. As their mom, I would be so proud of them for finding a way in that small step, right? Of not going out to eat every week. They're making some meals at home and they're adding to it in a small incremental way. That's what you want to notice. Is there any small change that you're noticing? Baby steps. Maybe there's two steps forward and three steps back, but you're on the path. You know where you're going, you know why you want to make the changes and it's getting some energy. That's what I really want to hold space for today. As we reflect, what can we look back with gratitude for ourselves, for putting the energy in, for building the relationships that help us move forward, giving the time and the resources that it needs. Were there any goals that were reached? Let's celebrate that. Is there anything that's just not working? You're noticing every single night you go to bed and your to do list was too long. You didn't have the time and energy for it. What's not working? Let's notice with curiosity and not judgment. Again, if you start to notice those judging thoughts, it might be something you've been doing for decades, but consider holding that sweet new baby in your arms. Would you say those words and think those thoughts towards them? Then let's not say them or think them about ourselves. What can you learn about your goals? Maybe like me, you are multi-passionate and you have areas of energy going in so many different directions. Maybe just by writing them down and realizing they are all important, but we're gonna focus on one at a time. That could be a really big gift to give yourself today. As you look back, priority means one. So did you have a word of the year last year? Was there an aligned energy you wanted to walk in? That priority may have been showing up in different areas and you just didn't notice. How are you measuring success? Maybe success looks like you screamed less. I know when I was a young mom and I learned that there was a little gap between my thoughts that were creating anger in my body and my action of yelling, when I learned there was a pause there, I was able to pause once in a while, then a little bit more, then a little bit more and that was success. I just wasn't noticing it at the time. So how are you measuring success? How is your soul care? I guarantee that if we do not love ourselves, we are unable to love one another. And so if you're not taking care of yourself, you're not getting the rest you need, the healthy food you need, the sunshine, the friendship, whatever it is that you need it's going to be really hard for any of the responsibilities or any of the relationships in your life that matter to you to get your best energy. Start with you. Put the oxygen mask of self care on first. Are you able to honor your energy? And it's okay to say no. It's okay to look back and say, You know what? I knew what I wanted to do. And the reality is, I was busy. I was distracted. I kept saying yeses and I gave too much energy out last year. And now, I'm going to pause. I'm going to rest. And I'm going to decide what is staying and what might need to be deferred or delegated or just decided it's not a yes for this time because my energy cannot continue at this pace. If you consider energy like money, many people at Christmas get the January bills in and realize The Christmas budget was not honored, and now there's more expenses than the income coming in. That's what happens with our energy all the time. We say more yeses than we have the time and space and resources for, and we're the ones who pay the price. And our souls get more and more empty, and we become exhausted and overwhelmed and depleted and frustrated. So what are you noticing about your soul care? Without judgment, just curiosity. I noticed this. I wanted to spend two hours a weekend and spend it on rest and taking care of myself. And I accidentally gave those two hours away 50 percent of last year. If we can notice with curiosity and not judgment, it's going to help us move forward with our new decisions. And so just spend the last few minutes thinking about all these questions, you can re listen to this, but also you could pause right now and close your eyes and take a few breaths. And from a place of love, notice. Was there anything you did well that helped you to honor your available energy? Was there anything that you want to do differently so that you can stay in aligned energy? And when you look back at your calendar, you look back at your journal, you look back at your decisions, were you able to incorporate things like downtime and white space? Did you get enough rest and is your life full of the things that matter to you that you might consider play or fun or connection? All of these questions are here for you to just spend a little bit of time looking back and reflecting. There's no need to have any judgment. Just notice with love. Thank you for joining the live a vibrant life podcast. I hope our time together encourage you and we'll equip you with the tools you need to move into the vibrant life you desire. I'm here to help you live a brave creative, purpose filled life. And if you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly Tibbetts life coach, or visit my website, kelly tibbetts. com. I look forward to connecting again soon. I