Every Week We Need to Tweak

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Welcome to the Live a Vibrant Life podcast. I'm life coach Kelly Tibbitts, and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose. I believe self awareness changes everything. Let's get started. Welcome hey friends, this week on the podcast, we're going to be talking about pivoting. Pivoting is when we stop, check in with ourselves and say, what's working, what's not working, what could I do differently? This phrase came from my business partner, Ellen. She said, every time we make a plan, we need to remember that every week we need to tweak. We need to look at what's working, what's not working and what we would do differently and not just throw out the whole plan. Oh, well, that didn't work. What could we tweak every week to make sure that what's important to us is happening and getting done and that we have the energy. I think a lot of my life, I nos and had no idea that my energy had limits. And so I might say yes to conversations when I didn't have the emotional energy for it. I might say yes to helping somebody do something physically, clean a house or organize a space. And I was out of physical energy. And often I find myself struggling to use my mental energy in the best way possible. It's my third of the centers of intelligence. As humans beings, It's human beings, we think, we feel, and we process life somatically. And I tend to process life first through my feelings and then physically through my body. And even though I'm incredibly intelligent, I give myself credit for that. I can read quickly. I can absorb information using my thinking center is the third center I use. And because of that, I don't pay attention. And so I may not notice when I'm mentally tired. And as I'm speaking, you may start to notice. You don't notice when you're emotionally exhausted or when you're physically past your limits. So what we want to do every single week is make a plan in advance for our energy. Before we go into the holiday season, we would love to have in place a plan for our financial resources. Energy it's the same as money. There's a limited amount of resources. How do we want to allocate them? For many years, I was a pastor, and I truly believe that there's more than enough. There's more than enough for all the things that need to happen that you're probably surrounded with people who could lean in and support you. You probably have the ability to say the yeses and nos to do the work that's yours. But what happens when we get past our limits is we're saying yeses that are not ours to say, and we're not saying the nos we should. So as you create a plan, I want to offer you every week, you look at the plan from last week and you say, what do I need to do? How can I tweak it so it works best? And what we're looking at as we make the decision of what we're going to keep saying yes or no to, is what energy result do you want? I want you to think ahead about the season ahead and as you think about three, four, five weeks from now, how do you want to feel? I don't think anybody wants to feel overwhelmed and resentful and frustrated and exhausted. So how do you want to feel? What if you decide today that one of the most important things you do every single day is decide to protect your mental, physical, emotional energy, that your health matters. And you take the time before you make a plan to say what's adding to your energy and you're noticing what's draining your energy so that we can do more of what adds and do less of what drains because you matter. If you and I continue to live lives where we're overwhelmed and we've given past our capacity, we're not showing up as the best versions of ourselves. We're not living a vibrant life. At least that's true for me. If I do not stay in aligned energy. It's so hard for me to do the important things. I'll do the things that are expected because I have a very compliant energy. But if I can do the important things, it's like, have you heard of the metaphor where you put the big rocks in first into a jar or a vase, and then the medium size, and the small, and then the sand? If I don't pay attention, I'll start with the sand. And before I know it, there won't be any energy for what's actually important to me. And so that's why I create the podcast every week. I hope it just gives you 30 minutes to stop and pause and say, what do I want to think on repeat this week? And so if you've been creating a plan for your energy, maybe it started with just a notes app and you writing down, I don't want to forget this. If it's still the fall where you are, maybe you want to go out for a walk before winter begins. If the holiday season is coming and one of your favorite things to do is have time a couple nights a week to put on a Hallmark movie and have some cocoa, we don't want that to get pushed aside because you've said yeses to things that sort of drain your energy on repeat. I remember one of the first years that I was coaching, somebody said that it was so much easier for her during the holiday season when the Christmas tree was up to come in at night after work and allow herself some time to rest. The tree would be on, it would be just this pleasant environment. And how her brain offered her that that was appropriate because the tree was on, but the rest of the year it was so much harder. And what would it look like to just decide? I'm going to add some lights that make this room feel comfortable and inviting because I'm the kind of person that if I have 30 minutes a night of just some rest, everything about life kind of moves smoother. I have not yet met a human who can live without white space, who can live without pausing. We do it, but it does not create the best versions of us. And it leads to overwhelm and it can even lead to sickness. There's actually some articles I've been reading lately about what happens when we don't process our emotions and how it affects our physical bodies. So let's decide today that for the next few weeks, we are going to pivot as needed. We're going to make a plan, hold it with an open hand, and realize that every week, we're going to need to tweak the plan so that we can honor what adds to our energy. And either defer or delegate, work with others, or just decide not for this season to the things that drain us. It's very nuanced. I can't just give you a list of if you do these four things and you don't do those, this will help you. Each of us are made so uniquely. You're going to have to take the time. I'm going to have to take the time to notice what it is that we need. And if you've heard me speak before, you know, I'm going to say this on repeat. Self care is not selfish. It's what allows you to do the important work. And if your self care involves a nap, that's it for me. I need a nap about five days a week. I love to get up really early. I run out of energy in the middle of the day. If I can take a 20 minute nap, all of a sudden I get another couple hours of a burst of energy. I've noticed that going for walks isn't, you know, it's been something that's really been helpful for me. But also, I want to spend more time in the winter reading and less time on my phone. Every week, I need to tweak. The time is changing. The people that I see, the work levels that we are all experiencing, things change. And so we need to keep tweaking. So one of the most important places to start is what do you need? Self care is not selfish. The next thing you want to notice as you're creating these protocols or these budgets for your energy is do you have enough white space? If you were living by yourself like a desert father, right, I always refer to them, the people who brought us a lot of thoughts about our faith system, but they, they lived alone in the desert, they didn't have homes to take care of. They didn't have families to take care of. That's a very different life than the life I lived when my children lived at home and they all had activities to do and I had my own job and all the responsibilities around my house. I didn't know how much white space I needed. I needed to be able to pivot. I needed to be able to tweak. And if I filled every single block with something, then when life just happened, that led me to overwhelm. There was no way to move or to pivot or to tweak. So start with you and your self care, whatever it is that you need, physically, mentally, emotionally. And then make sure you have the white space to absorb the reality of life. And then while you're tweaking, instead of saying yes and adding, for the next few weeks, what would you like to say no to? When was the last time you did that? When was the last time you looked at all the things that you're currently doing and decided, I'd like to add some more fun back into my life. And my life is so busy, I'm going to have to say no to some things in order to do that. What would you like to say no to? Perhaps you visit somebody every single week and you'd like to decide that for the next three weeks, you're only going to visit every other week. Maybe you call somebody every day and you've decided, I will send them a text message four days a week and I'll call three days a week. Maybe you just keep working overtime, often without pay. That was me in the non profit world. Whether it was a completely volunteer job or a job where I got paid, because it was a non profit organization, I often felt compelled to do work when I wasn't getting paid for it. I kept going above and beyond. And I know so many women like this. The phrase I heard is, Don't get paid with praise. So maybe you're deciding for the next few weeks, I'm only going to do the hours that I get paid for. Maybe there are things that you do really well, but there are people around you that it could actually help them to learn how to do the laundry, to go to the grocery store. Maybe you're deciding you just want girl dinner, three nights a week. for the next few weeks. What does that mean? Whatever is in the refrigerator. Make a little charcuterie board. You're not cooking. Whatever you decide, whether it's to go to bed a little earlier or get up a little bit earlier, what would it look like to say for the next few days, here's the plan. I'm going to look back at it. Say, here's, what's working. Here's, what's not working. And every week I'm going to hold space to just make some little tweaks so that I can add to my energy knowing that what is coming up is really important. Most of us really enjoy the holiday season because we get to see people we don't see as often. We get to experience things that only come around once a year. I would love for all of us to go into the next holiday season filled with the kind of energy that's empowering, filled with abundance and enthusiasm and joy. I believe that's how you and I live a vibrant life. If you're hearing me talk about this today and you're thinking, I wish I had a group of people who I could connect with, who are on the same path, thinking about these same things, reading the same kind of books, doing the same kind of work. That's why I've created the coaching community that I've created. For 30 minutes, every week, we come together, remember what's important, notice what we need to tweak, and then make one small decision. and decide in advance when those small action steps will take place. If you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Facebook or Instagram. I'm Coach Kelly Tibbitts, or you can head over to my website and set up a one to one call with me. We'll talk about how we can help you live a vibrant life. I'll be back again next week. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I look forward to talking again next week. Thank you for joining the live a vibrant life podcast. I hope our time together encourage you and we'll equip you with the tools you need to move into the vibrant life you desire. I'm here to help you live a brave creative. Purpose filled life. And if you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly Tibbetts life coach, or visit my website, kelly tibbetts. com. I look forward to connecting again soon.