The Journey from Weary to Vibrant

Have you ever heard the phrase “don’t get tired of doing good”? (It’s from the Bible) Taken out of context, it is often misinterpreted as a call  to not take care of yourself and to put others first at all costs.  

That used to be me, too.  However I’ve learned how to live out this verse in a way that doesn’t lead me to depletion, resentment, or burnout.  

You CAN take good care of yourself and also serve others if you shift your mindset away from giving to others endlessly at your own expense.   There is another way. You actually can do a better job at “doing good” and giving to others if you prioritize your own well being and become the best, healthiest, most vibrant version of yourself.

 Take a listen and learn some basic small steps that can move you in that direction. 

Main points: 

• Create a system of decision making that allows you to say best the “yeses and nos” for you. 
• Practice leaning into our own inner wisdom to know what you need more or less of, to know when you need to rest, to know how to align your own energy, etc. 
• Decide that you are no longer going to grow weary doing things that are not yours to do.
• Resist doing for people what they can and should do for themselves. 
• Keep your practice steps small enough that you can keep doing them on a regular basis.

Links 

• Join Kelly's Group Coaching Program
• Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Let's connect.

I am cheering for you!

Transcript

0:00

Hey friends, this week we're going to be talking about the journey from weary to vibrant. One of the things that I noticed when I decided to create a program to help me live a vibrant life is that I had spent a lot of my life very weary. And part of that was because as someone who had grown up in the evangelical church, there were verses in the Bible that I used as power thoughts without understanding them. One said, don't grow weary doing good. And I took that verse so out of context, made it mean, Kelly, stop doing things in a way where you are weary, cheer up, try harder. And what that verse means is stop doing things that are exhausting you. In order to do things that you think are good. When I really lean into the truth of who I am a hundred percent loved a hundred percent valuable, just for breathing in and breathing out. I can say the yeses and no's that I need to say in order to not grow weary, because I don't know about you, but I know that when I get exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated, resentful. I'm not the kind of person I want to be when I describe myself as somebody who wants to live a vibrant life. I want to be kind and loving. I want to live with a sense of abundance and enthusiasm. And that does not happen when I allow myself to be compliant and people pleasing at the expense of my own energy. So for today, I want to share a verse, not a verse today. I want to share some words that I learned from one of my first yoga instructors. She talked a lot in yoga about the difference between the effort and the ease. And her name is Daylynn. She was one of my guests on the podcast. I'll link to that. Would be so good for all of us to just put our hands on our heart for a moment. Take a breath, remember, and believe that we are already loved and accepted exactly as we are. And I don't know when you're listening to this, but I'm recording it right before the election of 2024. And it's easy to put people into camps, camps of you're in and you're out, and we agree and we disagree. But what if it's true that every single person was made on purpose for a purpose? Is fully loved and accepted, not just for what we do, but just for who we are breathing in and breathing out. I think that aligned energy could change so much of this world. And that is, I think, part of the reason I was put here on earth. Now that does not in any way disqualify behaviors that need to stop because we need to treat each other as people who are loved and valued and accepted just the way we are. So this narrow road that we're walking of living a vibrant life you It starts with believing we were not created to be weary. It's not that we are going to have to just like pull ourselves up from our bootstraps to not be weary doing good. We're going to have to create some systems, some decisions are going to need to take place where we are not saying the yeses and nos that are not ours to say in order to say our best yes. And we'll know what. Is a yes. If we can trust, if we can lean into our own, you know, inner wisdom and say, what does ease feel like, what do I need right now? Do I need more of this or more of that? Do I need to recover my mental, emotional, physical energy? Do I need to have more time for joy? Is it time for me to decide and do what's important? My purpose filled work. So let's take a moment and decide that. What do you want as a result for the rest of this year? I don't think you want to go into the next season of your life overwhelmed, frustrated, resentful. I know that I don't. So what do you want? When was the last time you decided what was important to you? I really encourage people in my coaching program to take the time, write it down, notice what's important. It could be as simple as, I want to make sure that all of the clothes that I want to wear for this season are not too tight. In ten different places. I've shared that before. I record my podcast in my closet, which I think is why it brings up all the time, these ideas around my clothes, because I sit here and I think, what do I want? I want to wear clothes that I enjoy wearing, and if I don't make that a priority, I will end up not making the time for moving clothes from one season to the other. And so then I won't have warm clothes in the winter and I won't have the clothes I need for the summer. So it's important to me to take the time to make sure that the clothes that I'm wearing, they fit. Well, I don't feel bad looking at them. If something was purchased and it's no longer a good fit for me, I can say goodbye and let it go, bless somebody else. That's one of the things I want. I want to eat healthy food because I like how I feel when I eat healthy food, but that involves planning. I can't just run out and eat. I'm gluten free these days, so that makes, just going and running out to fast food, almost impossible. I want to feel good. That means I'm gonna have to take the time to make plans and prepare food in advance. What else do I want? I want a great relationship with the people that I love. That involves setting apart time and energy to invest in those relationships. And it also involves saying no to relationships where the energy exchange is not benefiting any of us. I don't want to spend any of my time trying to convince somebody to think something they don't want to think or to feel something they don't want to feel. I lived too much of my life. Growing weary, trying to help other people create thoughts and feelings, that's in their agency. I just want to spend the time and energy that I have growing in my own abundance, enthusiasm, aligned energy. And that if people around me are drawn to that, whether it's through my podcast or through my coaching program or through conversations, it's so different to have a conversation with somebody who's open and receptive and trying to use my energy to help somebody who doesn't have a current thought, create that thought. And so that's what I offer you today. Take a few moments. Put your hand on your heart. Take a few breaths. What do you want? What feels like ease? And where do you need to put in some effort because it's something that you want so that you can journey from weary, overwhelmed, frustrated, resentful energy over to vibrant, aligned, abundant, peaceful energy. And it takes time. It's not something that just comes naturally. If you have spent most of your life in a role of daughter, mother, sister, friend, employee, you may have given a lot of your energy to the people around you at your own expense. And even though that might feel kind and loving, it's actually the opposite. When we notice with what, with love, when we notice with love, what we need, and we take care of ourselves first, there's nothing selfish about it because that's the energy that changes the world. When we can care for ourselves first, we're not wasting any of our time and energy getting other people. To notice us and to thank us and to appreciate us. We have our own back. So in order to be somebody who moves from weary to vibrant, the first thing we want to decide is we're not going to grow weary doing things that are not ours to do. When I discovered boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud, I had never heard the concept before that I didn't need to do for people what they can and should do for themselves. Now, I learned that way back in 2003. I had small children and it really impacted how I parented them. I tried to be very conscious. Is this something they can and should do for themselves? So again, as a mom, when my children were babies, there was a very little that they should do for themselves. But as they began to grow, It wasn't loving of me to do things like tie their shoes or make their food or clean up after them if they could and should do it for themselves. Because I stepped back so they could step forward, they actually are living the most vibrant lives now. They learned how to do the things that were important and I got to keep some of my energy and use it for things that were important to me. If you spent any time listening to my podcast, going to Instagram and seeing what I share there, or being part of my coaching community, I often use these three words to help direct us. Notice, decide, and practice. So if you're noticing today, you would like to move from weary to vibrant. Or you're in good energy and you don't want to grow weary doing good. Notice what you would like. Write it down. Take time during the week to pause and give yourself the mental energy, the emotional energy you need. Maybe you do best with a journal and some quiet time. Maybe you do best if you go for a walk and allow your body to kind of speak, right, somatically. Maybe you do best if you can have a conversation with somebody who is inspiring and sees and honors the light in you. Whatever it is that you need, take the time to notice and then make one decision. What would you like this season? I often say if we can just think out two or three months, we would never decide on purpose I want to be overwhelmed, I want to be sick, I want to be so past capacity, my nervous system feels frazzled. We would never decide that, but without intention how many times does that happen? It's so easy to add to an already at the limits kind of life. If we don't make decisions to pull back and focus on what we need, we accidentally create results that we don't want. So what do you want? Notice with love, make one small decision. And then for your practice steps, I spoke about this in last week's podcast. We need the DVR. We need to do those small practice steps with diligence, with vigilance, and with resilience. When you're deciding your small practice steps, where and when will you do them? Keep them small enough that you can keep doing them on a regular basis. Vigilance, keep checking in, what's working, what's not working, what do you want to do differently? And then resilience, how human of you. Every time we fall down, we want to have the strength and the energy to rest and enjoy our life, get back up again and create some more practice steps. Our goal for this week is for us to decide this power thought, I'm choosing to no longer live a life where I'm overwhelmed, where I'm weary from doing good. I'm choosing to create small action steps that allow me to live a vibrant life. And if you'd like somebody alongside you while you're doing this important work, I would love to be your coach. You can connect with me either through Facebook or Instagram. I'm Kelly Tibbetts, life coach, or you could have her head over to my website. I would love to have a conversation with you. I'll be back again next week. Thank you for joining the live a vibrant life podcast. I hope our time together encourage you and we'll equip you with the tools you need to live a brave creative. Purpose filled life. And if you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly Tibbetts life coach, or visit my website, kelly tibbetts. com. I look forward to connecting again soon.