All Work Matters

In this episode, Kelly talks about the value we bring to our families as being so much more than how much money is on our paychecks. 

All work matters and is full of purpose - the work managing a home, the work caring for children or elderly parents,  the volunteer/community work, AND the work you do that brings in money.

In addition, it is ALSO work to stay healthy and aligned so that you can pour into other people.  It ALL matters! You bring more value than you may realize. Take some time to consider this.  Decide that you are worth regular, intentional, committed self-care and the ongoing management of your thoughts & feelings. 

Main points: 

• ALL work matters, but work is not ALL that matters. 
• You need rest AND play AND work.
• You need to start with your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual rest to make sure that you are not exhausted, overwhelmed, and depleted. 
• Connect with your breath on an ongoing basis.
• Remember - you have ZERO agency over the thoughts, feelings, and actions of others-you are only in charge of your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions.  
• Take time every single week to notice. What do you want? What do you want to stop doing? What do you want to keep doing? What's first, second, third?

• Links 
  • Join Kelly's Group Coaching Program

Let's connect.

I am cheering for you!

Transcript

0:09

Welcome to the Live a Vibrant Life podcast. I'm life coach Kelly Tibbitts and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose. I believe self awareness changes everything. Let's get started. Hey friends. I hope that you are having a happy summer. I'm really excited to talk to you today about the podcast that has just been really burning in my heart. If we've spent any time together, you know that I have three grown daughters, I'm so incredibly proud of them. I when I was a young mom had no idea the value I was bringing by being the person in our family that did a lot of the emotional energy caring for our family. I carried what, you know, I've learned the title, mental load for my family. I knew when we had to buy toilet paper and when the refrigerator needed to be cleaned, who had a birthday party and when someone's boots were getting a little too tight and they needed new boots. And the problem was, I didn't know that I was bringing this incredible value to my family by being the person who was responsible and being the person who was giving so much emotional energy to helping my three daughters know that they were seen and known and loved that they were important made on purpose for a purpose. And I was judging the value of brought to my family by how much money I was bringing in. I was only counting the work that had a paycheck associated with it. And I've done everything. There were seasons in my life where I was volunteering in different organizations. I've worked, part-time, I've worked full time and I've worked two part-time jobs. I've done all the different things. And I didn't know then that all the work counted. It wasn't just paid work that counted. And it wasn't the paycheck. It was the fact that my husband and I had created together this little community, this little team, and we both had different roles. And I was so unkind in my thoughts. Based on the amount of money that I brought now. At the same time I allowed myself to be in the nonprofit world, specifically in church ministry where my value was not met. Right. The fact that I was providing such great value to church organizations, and I didn't have to advocate for myself that I was paid fairly. Completely different subject. When I hope to talk to at some point. Before today. I know some of the people who listened to me are young moms or they're younger women who are thinking about becoming a mom, or maybe you're on the other side, like me and your children are grown. Maybe this is the day you decide that the value you have brought to the table is highly valuable. Whether there was a paycheck attached or not all work is work. And my summer series of fill your soul with sunshine is based on this little mathematic equation that it came up with that. Rest plus play plus work equals sunshine. You need rest. You need to start with mental, emotional, physical, spiritual rest, and make sure that you are not exhausted, overwhelmed and depleted. And you'll know that you're not overwhelmed, exhausted. Repleted because you want to play. You want to do something that brings you joy. And I've always been a strange person. Like when I was a little kid. Play for me would be organized. My dollhouse. I think organizing a space is play. I love it. I have friends who love to garden. That to me is unpleasant that's work, but I need rest and play and work. I think every single human was made on purpose for a purpose. And your purpose might be every single day. When you go get your coffee, there is somebody in the line that you're like looking at an intentionally smiling. And honoring the soul. The light in you is seeing and honoring the light in them. There are so many different ways that our work shows up. It's us being intentional with our purpose. But what I would love to speak over any young mom who's listening to me is that paid work is work. And so whether the work is for pay or not for pay, I want to talk today about creating results. And results do not start in the action step. They start with your thoughts. Your thoughts are creating your feelings. Your feelings are driving your actions and actions create results. The hard part about life and why we need the serenity. Prayer is you can take literally all the right actions. And still not see the results you want. Right. Have you ever had this happen? You're in a classroom and the teacher decides that everyone's gonna be graded on a curve. And even though you get a 99, you didn't get the a hundred. So you didn't get the one a, is this still a struggle for me? I went to college so long ago, but that story is still at the top of my head. Cause I'm so frustrated that my 99 was a, B instead of an, A you can be in a relationship with somebody and you can be pouring out and doing everything that you can do to make this relationship healthy. And that person can have a thought. I don't want to be in this relationship. And because of relationship requires two people. That relationship ends. It is the hard part of life that there are things in life we need to accept because we can't change them. We can't change other people's thoughts, feelings, actions, the circumstances that we're currently in, right. There are so many things that have happened that I can't change, BUT I can change three things. I've been given the authority in the agency to change three things, my thoughts, my feelings, and my actions. So that's what I want to inspire you today: that when your thoughts are aligned and your feelings are in that space that create results, you're enthusiastic, you're determined. You're committed. And you take the action steps in the direction you want to go. You are very often creating the results you want to create. I know for me, one of the most frustrating things is I joined a gym when my oldest daughter went to college and I went a lot and I went with a friend of mine and we were there all the time and her body was being transformed and I wasn't changing at all. I didn't lose a dress size and it lose up pant size and the scale stayed the same. I was eating healthy, turns out I was going through peri-menopause and I had no idea. And because I was going to the gym every day. I didn't gain weight. I didn't experience a lot of the painful parts of menopause. I just didn't lose weight because my body was actually doing some really important work. And I just simply wasn't aware of it. So this is the hard part of accepting the things you can't change. At the same time. Is there an area of your life where if you had some courage, you could change the three things you can change, your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions. And so here's a thought. All work, whether it's paid or not is a work. And in order to do our very best work, we need to rest and play. And we need to know that our purpose field work matters. So what's the results you want. If I could go back in a little time machine, I'd say, Kelly, your goal with raising these three children is that they would grow up and they would know how incredibly loved they are, that they are safe, that there is nowhere they can go that you won't be the center of the hurricane of any. Chaotic part of their life, that you'll always be a safe place to land. I wish that was the power thought that was driving my parenting. What power thought would you like to drive your life today? And so when you know what your thought is, then you can find the feelings that. Come from that thought. So if your thought is like, there's nothing I can do, my life is useless. You're probably going to feel discouraged and overwhelmed. But what if the thought was something that begins with the words it's possible? It's possible. I can live a vibrant life. I got the idea of my podcast from a scripture, which Jesus said, I came that you might have life and life more abundantly. I think that's what a vibrant life is. Sometimes we're sad. Sometimes we're frustrated. Sometimes we're excited. We're seeing all the colors of the rainbow in our life. But when, you know, your thought is you were made on purpose for purpose, your life matters. You begin to notice where in your life, you matter, where they needed to show up where we need you to be your full, authentic self, and you become committed and enthusiastic and aligned. And from that feeling, you take small steps. So when you know the results you want, you often can just take a pause, a deep breath, connect to your breath. And notice what are 1, 2, 3 small steps I can take to move in that direction. So maybe you've decided I want to have a porch that I love sitting on. That's one of my goals for the fall. I want my porch to be a place I love sitting on. Okay, well, it's going to need everything taken off. To be cleaned. Some of the things need to be recycled or thrown in the garbage. And only the things that I love put back. So between all those things I said, I've come up with three to five small steps to do, which one is first. I don't want to clean before I take everything off. That's why it's so good to just take time every single week to notice, what do you want? What do you want to stop doing? What do you want to keep doing? What's first, second, third, is there any area where you have some emotional, you know, stuckness that you need to process? That's what we do every week in our group coaching circle, we hold 30 minutes to come together and say your results matter. Your work matters. Whether it's paid or unpaid, it's still work. And so that's what I would love for you to do. Now, if it's safe to do so close your eyes, if not, just take a deep breath. Notice a result that you'd like, see if you can come up with three small steps. And when you think of those steps, do you notice yourself being afraid? Do you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable? Those feelings are trying to tell you something. And it would be so good for us to honor those feelings. So I always say, put your hand on your heart. Send some love. And maybe ask yourself, why am I feeling uncomfortable? What am I afraid of? And without judgment, just notice. Sometimes it's such a powerful. Aha. For us to just notice something we've been thinking on repeat, it's almost like we feel the weight leaving our body. And what we do together. And our group coaching program is every single week we noticed the small steps we want to take. We decide when we're going to take them, we name the space and the place in the time. And then we come back next week and we say, Hey, what worked? What didn't work? What would I do differently? So when I think back, one of the most fun parts of my young motherhood is I became president of a town organization. I would never have run for president, but the president stepped aside. And I loved the vice president role of setting up events. And I stepped into being the president of the nonprofit and we were able to fundraise so much money. We built a playground for the preschool in my town. It was an amazing experience. But if I could go back in time, I wish I knew then what I know now, what would my power thought be? You know what? I want to be an incredibly healthy leader pouring into this team of 10. And if I pour into them and they believe in their giftedness and we are all kind and loving and respectful with each other, I think those 10 women would then pour into 10 women each and before you knew it, we'd have this very healthy organization. That's work. It might not be paid, but that has worked for me to stay aligned and healthy and then pour into other people. So are you noticing anything that's important to you? Is there anything you would like to decide. I've said this several times, but before you make decisions, you want to make sure that you're aligned energy is what's driving the decision. We don't want to be making decisions from overwhelm exhaustion, frustration, aggravation. We want to find. Excitement. Determination. Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm comes from the Greek and it means filled with God. One of my mentors. Cathy Heller says enthusiasm is the vibration, the feeling that vibrates the highest. And so when you are filled with God, you know, you are loved, you are good. You are important, you are made on purpose. You are filled with this energy of going out and changing the world. And when you look back in history, do you notice how often it is one person doing important work that brings the vibration of those around them up in the world begins to change. I was watching the history channel recently, and I learned about this man in New York city who decided he was going to help. New York city become more sanitary. It was disgusting in the 18 hundreds. And he came in with his white clothes and all of his employees and their white clothes. And with his vision, determination and enthusiasm, he transformed the city of New York, which transformed other places and things like sewers and garbage people. Began to change the inner city. One person can change the world. Your work is so important. And so if you are a mom with children, that work is so important, but it starts with you being emotionally aligned and healthy. And then pouring into them. If you're taking care of a loved person or a friend, right? Maybe you're taking care of a grandmother or mom. A cousin, a sister. Maybe you're at work. And there are people around you who are constantly overwhelmed, exhausted, depleted, and they feel like every time they see you, they just sort of come to you because you're that bright light. And maybe you're doing that as a volunteer in your school library, or you're doing it for pay all work is important. Your purpose matters. And the way for us to live aligned enthusiastic lives is to start by caring for ourselves. Making sure that we are emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy. And then using the energy we have for whatever purpose you decide is your important next step today. Again, I'd love to have you join us at any time. You can go to kellytibbitts.com to learn about my coaching program. I'll be back next week. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I look forward to talking again next week. Thank you for joining the live a vibrant life podcast. I hope our time together encourage you and we'll equip you with the tools you need to move into the vibrant life you desire. I'm here to help you live a brave creative, purpose filled life. And if you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly Tibbitts life coach, or visit my website, kellytbbitts.com. com. I look forward to connecting again soon.