Live A Full & Generous Life

Listen in on another conversation Kelly with Shannon Warner of Having a Mom Moment, as they discuss how to maintain aligned energy.  The conversation focuses on simple ideas inspired by Shannon’s father. The conversation reminds us all of the impact of living a full and generous life and the importance of noticing and appreciating life's unexpected gifts.

Main points: 

• Define for yourself what vibrant living looks like for you. 
• For Shannon’s father, it was summed up as: 
  • live large, 
  • give generously, and 
  • enjoy great music & always make time for a car ride with a soda pop.

Links 

• Join Kelly's Group Coaching Program
• https://havingamommoment.com

Let's connect.

I am cheering for you!

Transcript

0:00

Hey friends today, we're gonna be talking to Shannon Warner about the power of being a mom with aligned energy. Welcome to the Live a Vibrant Life podcast. I'm life coach Kelly Tibbitts, and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose. I believe self awareness changes everything. Let's get started. Shannon. I'm so glad that we can have another conversation about aligned energy I'd love for you to just describe, you know, the wisdom that you notice as you're speaking with moms. Tapping into like how incredibly wise we are as moms and we don't give ourselves enough credit and, you know, just encouraging us to reconnect to the amazing person behind the title of mom, because you may be a mom and that's so important, but you are so important in your passions dreams, your goals, your career, all of that is still so important to you. A hundred percent. One of my daughters helped me to recognize that and it's one of my favorite things to tell people about is We're creating a corporation my husband and I have built over these last 30 years. Now the fruit of it is being seen in these grown ups who are going out into the world. Sometimes part of the corporation has sales and they bring money in and sometimes it's project management and sometimes, you know Moms are doing so many of these maybe unpaid jobs, but all the emotional labor and mental labor And so just recognize how important it is and I think your dad's tips are huge for moms to be healthy So tell us a little bit about the Instagram post you made and we'll go through the four big ideas that you shared. My dad passed at the end of 2021. He passed 18 days before my second daughter was born. And I'm an only child. And he was unmarried, although good friends with my mom still. And, it has been quite the journey. But if you would have told me like your dad's going to die and you're going to be, you're going to get through it. I would have been like, absolutely not. Like I, I will be crushed. I will not be able to function. And there was some of that, right? There was some of that. But, I didn't realize the gifts that he would leave behind and the way he still shows up. And there has been a lot of beauty in it and So it's been a journey, but I I do believe that My soul chose this path in this life this lifetime and that I knew what I was signing up for and that This is supposed to be part of my journey, and it has been so impactful, but not, I mean, obviously in the ways that you would expect, but in so many ways that I didn't expect. So, so thank you for opening the space today. I appreciate that. Well, I read it, and again, it reminded me. I think these are words my daughters would use about their dad, and so I love that we get to talk about this. So yeah, live large, give generously, good music and the healing power of a good car ride with some soda pop, coke, whatever we're going to call it. I had to say pop. I was like, I know people are going to be like, pop? So tell me a little bit, live large, what does that mean to you? Okay, so I have to set the scene. My dad was a large man. Okay, he was six foot three. He lived well and he ate well So he was a large man, but like large all over we used to say like built like a refrigerator He was just a big guy, right? So but he had the personality And the life to match it. Like if something sounded fun, he was going to do it. And if you follow me, you can see it in the post, but he got his pilot's license when he was 16 years old. And then he started jumping out of planes for fun. And he, if he wanted a boat, he bought a boat. At one point, he had a sailboat and then he moved to a different boat and then had another boat that he shared with a friend. And then he had a Corvette and then he had a motorcycle and dadadadadada, you know, and it's not like, We we're not a wealthy family. Right. But, but he was like, that sounds fun. I'm, but that's abundance, that's what we just heard. Right. That's abundance. Yeah. It's, it's, and I, and the more you tap into it, the more it comes to you. Right. Which is like the most magical thing. It yeah, yeah, yeah. It just doesn't dry up. You get to enjoy it and, oh wait, there's more. And you know's, just, not only was he large in presence and personality, but he was like. I'm going to do the things. I'm going to have a great time. So even though, and he used to say this about other people, they had a good run, you know, after somebody would pass. And I think even though it was before any of us, including himself, expected, I think he would also say, I had a good run. So. I love that. I love that idea that like choose to live large. So when I decided my podcast may live a vibrant life, it's because I hadn't for most of my life. I had lived small. Yeah. And part of it was to try to avoid like the side of the feelings wheel that I don't enjoy of like, you know, sadness and difficulty and frustration, but you have to have both sides. Right. The happiness increases like for you to hold space and be sad today also allows your heart to hold space and remember all the beauty. And so that was one of the big things. So my big live largest weekend is I'm going to go into Boston. I don't live that far. I live in New Hampshire, but I don't enjoy driving in Boston. And, I'm going to go in and I'm going to See Kara Lowentheil. I don't know if you know who she is. She is like one of my favorite podcasters. And then she just brought on two other guests that I just love. This is gonna be fun, but that's my live large for this weekend. Any live large upcoming things for you? I think the podcast is a pretty live large thing for us to do. That's kind of abundant. It does. It, It's something that feels so small, you know, when you're in it and like editing behind the scenes and then not have a conversation like I had this morning or like I had the one with you that has turned into this and it's just like, Oh my gosh. Right. I think just really being intentional this year about our summer and our summer plans and like, Hey, let's get on the books. Hey friend, let's get a trip to you on the bus. There's a lot of our friends are all over. So like, usually we look up and it's the end of July and we're like, we didn't do anything like, you know, so we're really good encouragement today. Yeah. Calendar out. Yeah. Absolutely. Two sides to it. It's like, you know, you, you never know how much time you've got. Right. And two, I, it made me realize like, I, if, if I were to go at 67, you know, like that's 30 some years at the time when I'm like, I've got, I've got work to do, I have things to do. So like, it's not now when, right. I'm going to show up. And it was around that time, you know, that the podcast started and, and life kind of just, you know, started to. Give the gifts. So, oh, that's awesome. Yeah. One of my big live large came from, the artist way by Julie Cameron. And in it, she says every single week, take yourself out on an artist's date and find something that you enjoy. And I think that was a really interesting new thought for me. I hadn't spent most of my life. Especially as a young mom looking for what would fill me with joy and, and really truly life changes when you put yourself first and you do the thing like, I'm going to get the boat. I'm going to go and create a podcast. I'm going to go get myself to Boston and get home. I will figure it out. I love that. That's so fine. Oh, I hope you have a great time. It's just, and it's, I had told my business partner part of why I want to keep doing these things is I think it's part of what keeps you young. Do you follow Mel Robbins at all? I do. She had her mother in law on twice on her podcast and she's like 87 and doing all the things like jumping out of the planes and like just so vibrant. I love having examples like that. So yeah, I'm 55, but she's 87. I have like 32 more years. to be as fun. And yeah, I love that. Okay. Your second thing you talked about that I think was huge. Give generously. I would say if my girls could summarize their dad, they'd be like, he is the most generous man. And he does it super subtly. Like he's not making attention, but it's just this giant gift to be in his presence. Cause I remember when we first got married, he had two lawnmowers somebody had given him one and he had one and one of our friends needed one and he gave the better one. And that's just like the kind of like generous person he is. So tell me about your dad and give generously. Yeah. This was another huge gift in his passing was the amount of people we had like a luncheon, a couple months later, because it was still kind of peak COVID scariness, not like 2020, but it was early 2022 right after the spike. So we pushed it to the spring and, the family members one after another who stood up and they're like, Oh my gosh, you gave me this. He gave me that. Which was part of his like lineage. That's just what the family does. But he, one of my favorite memories was, I mean, he gave to me endlessly, endlessly. But my grandmother had a lady that she went to church with who was like turning 97 or something. And she like lived in a really small income based apartment and like was not living a great life, but was really sweet and like had knit my baby a blanket, even though she had never met me, you know, So my dad got a card while he was in town visiting my grandma and he, he stuck at 97 or whatever her birthday was that year. He stuck 97 in it and he just wrote, have a great birthday and he was like, give it to her. Don't tell her who gave it to her because, you know, for him, he was like, here. And for this woman with, you know, on a fixed income, you know, it was just, I'm sure it was so meaningful, but he was just giving. all the time. It would, it would take me days. It would take me days to just explain the level of generosity. Remember that generosity is one of the ways we all get to live in this like abundant aligned energy. I have a friend that I coach and one of the things she has is a folder in her desk called generosity. And you know, it's natural for us to think like, Oh, it's, we have to get the 97. But the reality is having just had a birthday, it's so cool to get a card in the mail. Yeah. Where somebody said, I was thinking of you Facebook is the most fun, right on your birthday. Everybody's like'happy birthday,", I'm thinking, I don't even know you're still friends with. So fun. So like so many small ways to be generous, but what a great reminder to kind of align to that. Like what would it look like to live aligned? In vibrancy, generosity, living large. I love that so much. Okay. I can't wait to talk about this. Good music. So I'm 55 and you brought back memories. My parents used to go for drives on purpose just to drive. Like we literally wouldn't go anywhere, but I remember the music and my kids Would say the same thing. I have these little sneaky videos I've taken when the five of us in the car and we're like listening to Noah Khan and like I'm I'm just videoing us I can watch it later. I think there's nothing like good music. It's just, it's such a huge gift. So tell me about your dad and good music. What made you think of that in particular? I had such an expansive library and music, you know, and I remember the CD tower of, of all of the, of all of the CDs that I had, and it was Prince, and it was ACDC, and it was Motown, and it was Gospel, and it was Johnny Cash, and I mean, it was all over the place. It was all the good music. Yeah, and he's like, you need to listen to this, you know, you need and I'm like, I love Hanson and NSYNC is the best, you know, and he's like, no, honey, I think Hanson still holds up. Yeah, I think Umbop is still great. I still love NSYNC, but it is like, not the same, you know, it's not the same and this, You know, I know he was listening to it because he wanted to, but just like exposing me to all of it as well, and I can think back now, I mean, music holds, and I'm sure there's science behind it, and I can't speak to that, but, you know, it can take you right back to wherever you were, right, and like, it's such a gift for me now because I can hear Tom Petty, and I can be right back in the car with him, which, you know, You know, when you can't have that in your present experience is so lovely, right? So awesome. And I honor those tears. I think that's so beautiful for us to, to remember that. Right. And so I think that's just another great thing for us to remember as we're realigning. You and I both met through Cathy Heller and she would put on a song and it would change my energy to just like move and sing to it. And I would say my girls would 100 percent say it's Billy Joel and it's John Cougar Mellencamp and it brings you back to that place. Yeah. So what a, what a beautiful reminder of the power of good music. And so tell me now, my daughter's about to take off and head on a car trip. So I love that you wrote this cause I'm like, it's so true. The healing power of being in a car with I had to say pop because we're in Michigan, right? So it's always like- you want to go for a ride? You know, that's what it is. You want to go, you want to go for a ride? And we'd either stop somewhere or hit the drive through. I still maintain, I mean, you have your feelings about McDonald's, but McDonald's, absolutely. When they have it right and the machine is working, like there's nothing like that. And then especially in Michigan, when the, when the weather's finally nice and you can roll the windows down and just blast it, like it is therapy. It is. Right. It is. It sounds like, you know, your, your daughters are used to this, but like, some people are not used to just driving for the sake of driving, like it's purely, I need to get to point A from, you know, and it's like, no, like you can just go blow your gas, you know, just go get in your car and drive because you enjoy it. And it's, I mean, I do some of my best thinking in the car, my husband and I and my friends and my mom. Like we've had some of the deepest conversations in the car. And one of the last trips I took with my dad, my grandmother now lives in Kentucky and we drove down to Kentucky and we talked the whole way through the trip. And it was just so lovely. It was so lovely. And even on the way back, we actually did not talk at all, which was so interesting. I mean, it was very minimal, but it was just like being in the space. Yeah. Yeah. Being in the car together, being in the energy. And, I don't, I could talk about all that for hours. You remind me of three things. First is during COVID, my middle daughter and I, that was our thing because you were allowed to go get food. So we had joined Panera's coffee club and we would put on music that we liked and we would drive and go get a coffee. There was something so healing about that, that to this day, it's still our thing. Like let's go get a coffee, put a music and be in the car together. The second thing I think of is Jen Liss, who I met through the Cathy Heller program talks about when the energy gets stuck in your body, how important it is to scream. She taught us this trick where you like scream into your elbow and then you don't hurt your throat. I think another therapeutic thing is find the kind of song where you can scream and scream in the car. We were doing this the other night, we went out for my birthday too and my daughters came home. We put on Who's Afraid of Little Me, Taylor Swift song. There's some great screaming parts in there and you just feel so much better. And there's nothing strange about screaming in a car, like people might look at you, but they get to have their experience and you get to have yours, right? Exactly. Yeah I think space for me, yeah, I've, I've straight up screamed in the car after his loss, you know, it's just coming down the road, it just hits me and I'm just like, I need to let this out and just scream. It's so good for us. Right. Screaming, crying. So good for us. The third thing I think of is I used to be a pastor and one of the verses in Deuteronomy talks about like the way to help your children become who you want them to be. And it's like, talk about it when, so it's never like sit down face to face and talk. Nobody wants that. You get really defensive. Right. But like if you can do something alongside, right? So you're like playing basketball or you're driving best time ever. Nobody has any eye contact, right? So I thought all those things were just really important to remember because it's not like we don't know it. We just forget because life gets so busy. We've got to take care of ourselves, right? It feels so good to receive that, you know, and that the message is being heard Every mom you've talked to, I don't think you've gotten off one podcast and thought, well, that was a waste of time. Like everyone has something that you're like, that was so powerful. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. And I will say too, if you have a podcast that you love, let them know. I mean, even if it's not mine or Kelly's, let them know because we receive those. Everyone's not going to have the 10 million download podcast, but it doesn't mean it's not impactful. Like my podcast is so tiny and people still are like, thank you so much. I really appreciated that. And we're like, Any closing thoughts? For the summer I have a program called soul care and sunshine where we notice what it is that we need mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and we do the practices and it's all around Julia Cameron's artist way and prosperous heart. I love both of her books. So that's what I have coming up. What do you have coming up? I love that. So everyone can find it because that sounds amazing. And especially I think summer is a really easy time to be like, Whoa, what happened? Yeah, absolutely. So I've got the one to one motherhood momentum mentorship. It's a deep dive into your situation surrounding working motherhood. So whether you are expecting and you, you know, feel like you've got your registry nailed down and you've got your baby tower planned and the names and your nursery and all that. Yeah. There's probably pieces that you're not thinking about when it comes to your career and your maternity leave and your leave itself and returning to work because there's just not supports in place in the system. And we can't assume that what our employer provides us is actually going to meet our needs. So it's Fantastic for that or if you're in the trenches in it of working motherhood wherever in the journey and you're like I can't continue on this current trajectory we can jump in. It's 1 month. You get a weekly call with me and then full access to me over voxer or email for the whole month and we're gonna get it in order because you deserve to love all pieces of your life, including your job. I love that so much. Well, thank you for today. Thanks. Thank you joining the Live a Vibrant Life podcast. I hope our time together encouraged you, and will equip you with the tools you need to move into the vibrant life you desire. I'm here to help you live a brave, creative, purpose filled life, and if you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly Tibbitts Life Coach, or visit my website, kellyTibbitts. Com. I look forward to connecting again soon.